Jennifer Aniston isn’t someone you mess with, unless you enjoy four years of nothing followed by one sentence in a magazine.
Just look at Angelina Jolie. She wronged Jennifer Aniston in the most hurtful way possible, by stealing Brad Pitt from her on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith, and now, several years later, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she’s spoiling for a fight. In the new issue of Vogue, Aniston has described Angelina Jolie as “really uncool.”
These words are bound to upset Angelina Jolie, especially since Jennifer Aniston wasn’t even talking about the Brad Pitt thing – instead she was describing Angelina’s Dunlop trainers, 1980s adoption of the failed Betamax video system and her abiding love of the music of Jamiroquai. Lord knows how Angelina Jolie will react to this – chances are she’s going to write the word ‘SKANK’ on Jennifer Aniston’s geography coursebook or something.
Just like the second coming of Jesus, the return of King Arthur and Oasis releasing an album that isn’t full of middling tripe, the prospect of Jennifer Aniston publicly scolding Angelina Jolie for stealing Brad Pitt from her is something that’s long been prophesied despite the slim likelihood of it ever happening.
Oh, sure, Jennifer Aniston has alluded to the split in the past – by banging on about pity-parties and taking up with men who look slightly like humidity-wilted waxwork models of Brad Pitt – but for the most part she’s just been happy to maintain the icy awkwardness between Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and herself that involves one party having to avoid a charity luncheon occasionally.
Until now. Poor Jennifer Aniston has done her best to try and maintain a dignified silence while Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie mocked her by starring in terrible depressing movies that were supposed to be hers and thinking up deliberately stupid names for their children, but she just can’t hold it in any longer.
Why? Because recently Angelina Jolie described Mr & Mrs Smith as the movie where she and Brad Pitt fell in love, even though Brad was still married to Jennifer Aniston at the time. Oh, and also because Jennifer Aniston’s got a couple of films coming out soon. That probably helped as well. Anyway, here’s what Jennifer Aniston told Vogue:
“There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening. I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss. That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool.”
Really, Angelina Jolie should be thankful that Jennifer Aniston managed to limit it to just ‘uncool’. We hear she was also toying with dropping ‘wack’, ‘square’, ‘not groovy’, or even going as far as calling Angelina Jolie a ‘skallywag’ or – worse still – a ‘nincompoop’ in retaliation. With that sort of escalation it’d only be a matter of days before someone threw down with ‘skuzz-bucket’ and it all ended in tears.
But, still, this outburst is sure to backfire on Jennifer Aniston. Now that she’s been called uncool, Angelina Jolie is clearly going to try and get cooler to prove Jennifer Aniston wrong. So, the next time you see Angelina Jolie walking down the street wearing a backwards baseball cap and baggy MC Hammer-style trousers, listening to a cassette of Savage Garden’s Greatest Hits on an oversized ghettoblaster perched on her shoulder, know that she’s had the last laugh in all of this.
Julian Mentat says
What does ‘cool’ mean? Seriously.
Leilei says
What is she talking about she didn’t know? LOL! What a liar. Her ex-Vince Vaughn was on the set with Brad and Angie, she should have asked him. The fact is they had feelings did nothing until he kick Jen to the curb. If Brad had cheated on her during that film would she have dropped her pants for Vince Vaughn. I think lot.
She likes drama, how pathetic. How about being a better actress so people will go and watch your films instead of having them see your films because they feel sorry for you.
Sarah says
Tsk, tsk…if you have to ask, you’ll never know.
Unknown says
If Jen put aside her ambition of earning millions of dollars and worried about her figure and gave way for Brad’s ambition for a family, Brad won’t fall in love with Angie.
Brad found in Angie what he has been looking for a partner, to build a family.
Tired of Jolie Being Holier Than Thou says
Even though Angie has unequivocally stated in the past that she would never interfere in a marriage. Remember? Because this happened to her mother and it would just hurt too much. For some reason, she felt the need to recently spill the beans that, in fact, this is exactly what she did. Yes, in fact, this was Jen’s husband. Yes. And, the fact that Jen wants to now comment on this “very recent” revelation, makes her the target of nasty comments.
Free speech and all….but Jolie is really the nasty piece of work here. How many times are you going to rub it in someone’s face without hurting them? Oh yeah, and those pics of Jolie taken by Brad (OH BROTHER)
Patrick says
Aniston reacts to the words/actions of her ex’s with admirable composure; she has better self control than i would have been inclined to credit give her credit for
Julian Mentat says
Thank you, Sarah, for assuming that my ignorance of a slang word proves stupidity on my part, rather than my coming from a different country.
But now I’ve figured out the word, and it doesn’t apply to you.
Sarah says
Totally missed it, Jules.
“If you have to ask, you’ll never know” is a popular response here in the US of A to questions like that…
In other words, it’s a joke. But you speak English, and it’s not that obscure of a word. In fact, that’s been a slang word since the thirties. Just how old are you? Is the country you’re from located under a rock?
And you could have just googled it, instead of making yourself look like a crybaby fool.
Tired of Jolie Being Holier Than Thou says
Actually, Sarah, you’re “joke” was not that funny, but your lack of understanding and compassion is laughable.
Leilei re your comment about Jennifer being a liar – her comment was that, AT THE TIME THAT THE AFFAIR BEGAN – WHEN IT WAS HAPPENING, she did not know that it was going on. In other words, Angelina has recently decided to openly speak about the beginnings of her affair with a married man, Jennifer’s husband, as if it were all normal and morally okay. Also,something, which Jolie and Pitt originally and vehemently denied. That is what is “not cool”.
Sarah says
Something tells me none of you are very cool, or you wouldn’t be so worked up about something that is trivial, stupid, and a monumental waste of time. It’s kind of funny, actually.
THERE’S NOTHING LAUGHABLE ABOUT UNDERSTANDING OR COMPASSION – EVER NEVER EVER.
Sorry, I just wanted to see what it was like. Rather annoying, almost as annoying as trying to read something in all caps. Anyways, I wish you all a wonderful evening…
Sarah says
Ha ha just noticed the “you’re” as in you are joke is not funny. That’s funny.
Tired of Jolie Being Holier Than Thou says
Yes, I noticed it too. But, I am technologically challenged and could not figure out how to get back in to edit. You would make a great editor Sarah.
Tonya says
Angelina and Brad are living in adultery. The bible plainly say that a man must not leave his wife unless she was unfaithful. Read the bible, look in the concordance under divorce and marriage. Biblically Brad is still married to jennifer, jennifer can marry because Brad broke the wedding vows by sleeping with Angelina. Jesus is coming soon everyone that does not keep God’s commandemnts will be judge.
Anonymous says
Jen should learn to in marriage not only one is at fault.
Jen should just move on and accept the fact that she was the one who pushed Brad away from her.
Even before Mr & Mrs Smith, they have problems with her marriage, for she focus so much on making millions of dollars and worry that if she get pregnant, it will affect her fame. She is not on the same level as Brad for Brad desperately wanting a family.
You could not blame Brad for falling in love with Angie. She is not only beautiful but beautiful inside inspite of her black past. Brad & Angie are soul mates, they have the same goal and very happy in making a difference to the world.
Bevens says
There are tons of things to say about this.
Angelina did not wrong Jennifer Aniston because she did not have the infamous affair with him during the set of that movie. It is beyond despicable how the media shamelessly misportrays them as adulterous but now they are taking the lie further and acting like Angelina herself said this was true. There is no point in trying to open the bigger debate about whether they are telling the truth or not to the brainwashed millions on Team Aniston. They have to
acknowledge one important fact and they keeping
adding to their spin in such a way as to destroy
the truth completely and prevent anybody from
speaking out against this corruption.
However, it is important to point out one fact the
media is blatantly contradicting what Angelina
said in her Vogue Interview that Jennifer is
making a misleading reference to. Angelina DENIED
having an affair with Brad Pitt while he was married.
She said they were just FRIENDS during the shooting
of that movie and their romance began AFTER his
separation. She also NEVER described in detail how
she and Brad actually became romantically involved.
There is nothing inappropriate about implying that
she enjoyed spending time and working with him, that
created a solid bond, which would later play a role
in their eventual romance. People have tried to point
out that fact before. This website still is printing
that lie which is slander. The media is so biased
against them and determine misportray them using any
devious tactic they can because they are profitting
so much from this exploitation. They know in their
hearts that they committed no wrongdoing and that
the people who continue to spout nasty, pseudo-
moral rants against them will pay the consequences
because God punishes the sinners and victimizers
out there. They are not publicly responding to this
for the same reasons they did not respond to Aniston’s Vanity Fair interview and numerous other
interviews from 05-06 because they do not want to
start a war of words they can’t win. Jennifer is
a liar and a fraud who hasn’t done nothing but
manipulate the masses for her own self-interest
ever since she was ever associated with Brad Pitt
who was responsible for creating her perfect,
lovable image.
gir says
“There are tons of things to say about this.”
And you are, apparently, going to try to say them all.
honey says
IT TAKES TWO.ANGELINA IS NOT TO BLAME,SHE WAS NOT MARRIED TO JENNIFER,BRAD WAS. WHY IS HE NOT UNCOOL? IF YOU CANNOT GET IT AT HOME YOU WILL SEEK FOR IT OUTSIDE OF THE HOME.SOME PEOPLE GO THROUGHOUT THEIR LIFETIME WITHOUT FALLING IN LOVE.SHOULD THEY BE CONDIMMED FOR THE LOVE THEY SHARE? SHOULD BRAD HAVE STAYED IN A MISERABLE MARRIAGE.SO WHAT IF SHE LIED ABOUT WHEN THE LOVE AFFAIR STARTED.SHE DON’T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLAINATION.YES TONYA,THIS IS FOR GOD TO JUDGE.
sandrin griffin says
Bevens you are the brainwashed ones Jen has so many on her side so fuck off.
bri says
dugg, for excellent writing!
Adalynn says
Oh well, look what Mr. Pitt got himself into anyway. He might as well be called Mr. Jolie as he’s always walking behind her like a whipped mother******. Angelina’s probably trying to adopt as many kids as she can to make up for the evil she’s done.
jenna says
sandrin griffen is a loser hes all over Angelinas blogs badmouthing her i think hes threatned by her beauty i think sandrin is a complete HOMO
POOR says
JENIFER ANISTON FAULTS BECAUSE SHE CAN’T KEEP HER HUSBAND. WHY SHE NOT BLAME HER SELF? HER FAN,HER ASSISTANTS ,HER FELLOWS SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM BLAMMING OTHERS. THE TRUE IS JEN SOOOOO UGLY TO COMPARED TO JOLIE, TALENTLESS THAN JOLIE.HEY JEN IF YOU CAN’T COMPETED THE WOMEN BETER THAN YOU ANYTHING. YOU SHOULD QUIET MOVE ON ALSO SHUT UP THE MOUTH OF YOUR FAN,YOUR ASSISTANTS IMMEDIATELY. MOVE ON