Imagine if you realised that a song you wrote sounded quite like Coldplay – you’d kill yourself out of shame, wouldn’t you.
Well, not if you’re Joe Satriani. Joe’s claiming that Coldplay ripped off chunks his song If I Could Fly in Viva La Vida, and he’s suing the band for everything they’ve got – so essentially a U2 songbook, some tatty faux-Napoleonic jackets and a scrawny wife who always looks miserable.
Why wasn’t the comparison between the songs pointed out sooner? Because everyone knows that if you own a Coldplay album and a Joe Satriani album, you must be drowned like a witch, that’s why.
The problem with music is that there are only so many notes available to an artist, and only so many combination of notes they can use before songs start sounding familiar. That’s why sometimes you get a situation where Avril Lavigne writes a song that sounds a bit like Hey Mickey, a bit like The Rolling Stones, a bit like Peaches and a bit like some band we’ve never heard of and yet somehow worse than all of them.
It’s not plagiarism, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence. But what’s really unfortunate is when a band makes a song that sounds like another artist’s song and both performers are crap and the note progression in both songs is so woeful that it makes us want to saw through into our belly, feed our arm up through the hole and punch the bad noise out of our brain with our fists from the inside.
Which, hey, seems to be what’s happening with Joe Satriani and Coldplay.
In 2004, Joe Satriani – the guitar bore who makes music for people who don’t like music – released an album with the punchworthy title Is There Love in Space? The album contained a song called If I Could Fly, which nobody paid any attention to at first because it was boring and almost certainly the sort of thing that Noel Edmonds would enjoy using as his on-hold music.
Flash forward four years, though, and Coldplay have released song called Viva La Vida on an album of the same name which was boring and almost certainly the sort of thing that Noel Edmonds would enjoy using as his… hey, wait a minute!
Long story short, Joe Satriani’s now suing Coldplay for ripping him off. BBC reports:
In court papers filed in Los Angeles on Thursday, he said the song used “substantial original portions” of his 2004 instrumental If I Could Fly. Satriani, 52, wants a jury trial and is seeking damages and “any and all profits” for the alleged plagiarism.
But how similar are If I Could Fly and Viva La Vida? Luckily YouTube is all over this. Look…
OK, they are kind of similar. But it won’t be up to us to decide who’ll win this lawsuit. However, if Joe Satriani does win, it’ll be a terrible blow to Coldplay – not just a financial blow but, because one of Coldplay will actually have to admit to owning a Joe Satriani album, a blow to any notion that the band understands what good music sounds like.
But regardless of who wins the lawsuit, there can only be one loser here. And that’s us – the knowledge that two artists have chosen to use a melody so obviously stupid has pretty much obliterated what little remaining faith in humanity we had. If you need us we’ll be weeping in the corner.
Julian Mentat says
Attention Coldplay fans: this is The Motors from 1978:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKvFhnvFcls
Listen to the brief piano riff at 2:22 and tell us which ENTIRE Coldplay song it reminds you of?
Matt says
Well, it’s not just the melody. It’s the chord progression, the only difference is diatonic chord substitution which creates the same overall feel.
Josh Lugo says
Hey Stuart,Please stop showing such distain for both artists. Just report the problem. P.S. People dont listen to joe cause, cause most common people only listen to full bands with singers, and not guitar virtuosos.
Dee Smith says
There are few things more offensive than instrumental “rock” music, and Satriani is a huge offender. Who listens to that crap? Very funny and on target article on a retarded subject.
William says
Gosh this reporter is so cutting and cool cos she doesn’t like popular music.
Joe Smith says
Hey Stuart! Your article was pretty boring. Of course, it could be because you decided to put in your two cents about a subject you know nothing about and obviously have no affinity for. Why waste the time? Hopefully you got off coming up with ways to tell all of us how boring you think the artists are. Otherwise you just wasted all of our time.
The Dread Pirate Sausage! says
Hey, Stuart!
Your article eats PLANETS! Your hands drip with candle lit honey as you compose these little works of art.
Carry on, dammit! Carry on!
P.S.: Coldplay suck vampyric cannibal zombie arse. Anyone who would argue?… gnaws on the icy cold, evil flesh of the vampyric cannibal zombies sucking the talent out of Joe Satriani’s arse.
So, basically, Coldplay’s arses.
Clayd says
“There are few things more offensive than instrumental
scott says
I love how any douche-bag with a false sense of intelligence and security can get any job available. Who hired this moron, and better yet, who hired the moron that hired this moron.
Please rag on Coldplay all you want. However, learn a little about your subject matter, music in this case, and you won’t sound like a whiney high school music critic with zero knowledge of music and the people who have influenced and taught some of the most accredited, accomplished, and highly regarded guitarist/musicians known to rock music.
I’d love to hear your take on politics.
StormTrooper says
Joe has more talent in his mucus than those boring-ass hacks combined and yes they’ve definitely stolen the melody and Joe will easily win his case.
FUCK COLDPLAY
Stitchd says
Stuart! I do believe you should do you homework a little more before you decide to bash 2 of the best artist working in the industry today. Liking Coldplay or not is your choice. but understand they are the number 1 band right now for a reason. And Satriani is a total different story. Prehaps you like Metallica? or not? Well Kirt Hammet took lessons from Satriani along several other great musicians. your input has nothing to do with the situation at hand. learn that, and maybe you wont be righting internet articals for your whole career.
Stitchd says
Your headlinger reads the following.
Imagine if you realised that a song you wrote sounded quite like Coldplay – you
Smelts says
Good grief, what’s next…are they gonna steal the Satch boogie also. Hey Stuart, why are you such a tool-bag? You think Satriani is boring…I guess I can see that becasuse your wife said the same thing about you last night! Later bitch!
Dustin says
Your a reporter, who writes crappy articles that people stumble on when looking for an unbias outlook on current musical events.
Coldplay is a horrid band that writes songs for young over emotional girls and odd older ladies who like crappy music.
Joe Satriani is a legend who was the teacher to two more hugely influential artists that also helped shape the face of music. And makes some incredible guitar parts.
So, while you add your two cents, let me ask you what you have done to allow you to judge Satriani. You probably couldn’t pick up a guitar and work anything sort of an awful sound and you have done nothing to help influence a movement.
I would suggest just reporting the truth, or at least educating yourself on what music is. If you think that Satriani is for people who don’t like music then your brain dead, absolutely brain dead. This leads me to the assumption that you have no idea what you’ve listened to and everything else is invalid.
Maybe, go back to school, get a real degree in something that isn’t as easy as journalism, then be informed on something you write.
geez says
Heckler – In name of website.
verb
To torment with persistent insult or ridicule: badger, bait, bullyrag, hector, hound, taunt.
marcelo says
“In 2004, Joe Satriani – the guitar bore who makes music for people who don
Ironlung says
give him a break guys. he is obviously an “NME reader” sort of music fan. he wasnt to know.
Fuckstuart says
Hey Stuart! Stop kissing Coldplay dicks, obviously you don’t know nothing about Satriani and Music.
I hope Joe wins! and fuck you Stuart :D
jesus says
how the living fuck can anyone call joe satriani “boring?”
oh, unless their attention span lasted 10 seconds and the last album they bough was aaron carter in 2001.
without joe satriani, the face of rock guitar… even music in general wouldnt be the same.
who knows if there would even BE a coldplay?
i suggest doing your reasearch, and developing some sort of brain before you attempt to post your chicken screatch on the web.
Hey Now says
I am going to chime in here and I hope to do so as intelligently as possible. While I am not a huge Coldplay or Satriani fan, I respect the fact that these are people making their living playing music. Stuart, you are a total douche. Not because you think Satriani is boring, but because you, a journalist turned this into sensationalized editorial as opposed to objectively presenting facts (which a real journalist would do). I despise your approach. Whether or not you find either band appealing is not germane to the situation. One guy feels he was ripped off, plain and simple. Whether or not he was, and whether or not you agree with his approach, Joe feels he was ripped off.
I also cannot stand the “Joe’s a real musician because he didn’t sell out” approach. Something here needs to be understood. While it is rewarding to create something that comes from the heart and soul, is it less soulful because it is commercialized? Just because you create something you KNOW will sell millions and make lots of money are you less an artist that someone who creates some esoteric work that is never heard on the airwaves? I am a musician, and musical scholar and would like to point out that my studies of music history taught me something very relevant to the theory of sellout versus integrity. Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Handel, were all guys that created music considered VERY relevant and creative. However, that handful of guys also have something else in common. They were commissioned (that’s paid money for those of you that feel that making money for art is a cardinal sin) to create many of the works considered to be their greatest accomplishments. Even though I’m not a Cold Play fan, I applaud their ability to tap into the public’s ear and create music that, really isn’t that bad, but most importantly, keeps them from working a day job or causing us to put posts on a website because of their creation.
uKrease says
Stuart Heritage, you are a knob…go dig a hole and bury both yourself and your stupid opinion in it.
Monkeymily says
That piano riff is nothing like clocks, which is what I am assuming you think is the similar coldplay song. That rhythm and descending arrpegiated chords have been used for centuries, and I could give you a several classical piano pieces which use it. The chords, which is what matters here, are completely different.
Thanks for wasting my time!
tamoor says
Dear who ever the hell wrote this article
eat shit and die
If you cant appreciate a true artist like satriani atleast have the deceny to not slate him
hhmmm.... says
wtf ?
well i dont know much about satriani, and im a huge super coldplay fan. but, u have no right throwing ur 2 cents in it. ur article sucked, it was boring and totaly unprofessional as a journalist. u really suck.
hhmmmm..... says
dear stuart,
u really suck. now im not the best in english but next time u should use spellcheck. next, i wanted to say that u dont have to throw ur 2 cents in it. striani, im not that big of a fan, but atleast i have respect, hes crazy rich and tought many people who are also now crazy rich, so…. obviously he did something right. now when ur status is as good as his, then u can say something, but for now your just a crappy journalist who write internet article. i’ve never been so dissapointed, and i love coldplay
get a real job, one that u possibly know something about.
Vatsala says
Hahaha :D
I bet she did. Which is precisely why he wrote this sad-ass article.
Kate says
Guess what arse!
He did not win!
FUCK JOE