No, he didn't direct them all to lemonparty; he made them hang around lots of babies as they developed a product for the parent and baby market.
Luckily for Lord Sugar and the teenage pregnancy rates, none of the Apprentice Brats seemed to quite understand what babies were, or where they came from. Over with the girls, Gbemi put herself forward for project manager because she's got a 9 year old sibling. Either her sibling has some serious problems, or she's missed the point of babies.
The baffling lack or awareness didn't end there, though. After the girls decided on a concept of ?support and comfort? – which is apparently a cushion for the baby?s head, but really just sounds like a bra ? the show became Britain?s Next Top Baby, as the teams tried to find a suitably cute baby to model their product. The girls completely misunderstood the basic concepts of genetics, and matched a white as snow baby with a black mother, which proved a source of total hilarity for Gbemi.
Spangle-eyed Zara, who?d been responsible for this shining example of utter idiocy, tried to pretend that she had decent reasoning for selecting a family that could never be a family, so asked Gbemi to shut the hell up. She was sure her logic would become obvious at the photo shoot, where she was going for a fresh, clean look on the photos. Which meant strong colours. Which highlighted the fact that the family did not fit in at all.
Over with the boys, they seemed to at least? grasp the concept of infants. Scouser Lewis made himself product manager, because he's incredibly creative, apparently. He immediately announced that he's got lots of ideas, but isn't confident about them. Which was a good start. Irish James and Posh Harry got into some kind of ideas war, where they refused to acknowledge each other and kept just spouting rubbish. Not content with irritating each other, they went to John Lewis and threw ideas at an unsuspecting manager, before having a fight about whose ideas was whose.
But it turned out that Posh Harry wasn?t content with being obnoxious in the brainstorm and in a department store. No, he had to act like a public school clich? at every possible opportunity. And so at the product designer, he picked a fight about what the main point of their product was and refused to SHUT THE FUCK UP.
And so it came to the pitches, where both teams proved themselves to have incompetent product managers. Gbemi wanted to lead the pitches, even though she was spectacularly rubbish. So rubbish that at the end of her pitch John Lewis didn't even know what the product did. Lewis at least managed to get the vague concept of his product across, but still succeeded in looking like a bumbling fool who had his notebook sewn to his hand. The only saving grace was that both of them had the sense to swap out for the final pitch, thus giving their teams some minuscule chance at actually getting some orders.
Flogging done, it was time for the teams to make total fools of themselves in front of the Dark Lord. Zara tried to explain the logic of picking the inexplicable baby, but Lord Sugar told her that it was a big mistake. Being as it looked ridiculous and all. It looked for all the world like the girls were going to lose after getting no orders from Gbemi?s pitch, but at the last moment Mothercare ordered 7,500 units and saved them all.
Which led to the inevitable boardroom battle. Lord Sugar attacked Lewis for insisting on pitching, even though he was obviously rubbish. Everyone told Posh Harry that he was a total bell-end, but he carried on being an obnoxious twat, so Lewis took him back into the boardroom. Along with someone called Ben, who we hadn?t even noticed before, but who seemed to wear far too much hair gel.
Ben announced that he had a relaxed approach to working, which is sure to win favour with the Sith Lord. Posh Harry told Lord Sugar that it was everyone else?s fault that he just kept crapping on, and if they?d just listened to him he wouldn't have been such a little shit. Ben was the one who ended up getting fired, presumably because nobody even really knew he was there.
On the journey home, Ben said that Lord Sugar didn't get to see the best of him. Which is a bit of an understatement. Lord Sugar didn't get to see anything of him, except for his violently pink shirt, which we assume was the only thing to get Lord Sugar?s attention in the first place. The fool should?ve just gone with plain white. That way nobody would?ve noticed him, and he could have carried on until the end of the competition, like a creepy silent hair-gelled ghost.
Because that's what every show needs. A ghost in hair gel.