If you’re a Nirvana fan, chances are you’re so young it’s actually sickening. You were barely alive when he redecorated his garage with his brains and therefore, you’ve martyred him to the point he can do no wrong.
You’ve probably got into Riot Grrrl too, despite the fact it was a scene that lasted all of about 30 seconds and was filled with some gaspingly average rock bands. WITH A MANDATE THOUGH.
And so, because you’ll never get close to a scene that has long died, you’ve invariably harboured some stupid fantasy about getting with Frances Bean Cobain. Courtney Love looks like too much work and it isn’t exactly cool hipster points to like Dave Grohl because he’s enjoying being a stadium rock star. Sadly for you jerks, you’ll never get to have sex with Frances Bean, thanks to some rumours that are floating around.
Basically, aside from the fact she’s an incredibly wealthy rock-offspring, thereby something of a deluded idiot who is about as down-to-earth as a cult leader, Frances won’t be having sex with you ever, because she’s apparently got engaged to her rocker boyfriend, Isaiah Silva.
Who? He’s in The Rambles. Nope. Us neither. We suspect they’re utterly, utterly awful jangly indie-gash.
No matter though. Frances Bean is in LURVE and she’s totally getting married, so that’s you out of the equation. This, of course, is according to some unnamed source in some terrible gossip rag.
That said, Frances and her boyfriend changed their relationship status on Facebook to engaged a few weeks ago. That’s if you believe that the accounts in question are actually theirs as they go under fake names – she goes by Frances Rachel Leigh Cook, him, Isaiah David Berkowitz-Cusack.
You’re all off to stalk them now, aren’t you?
Frances commented on her page:
“Getting to spend the rest of my life loving my best friend makes me the luckiest woman in the world.”
Not THAT lucky. Your dad is totally dead and your mum is completely batshit mental and posts naked pictures of herself on twitter.
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Bryan says
“Not THAT lucky. Your dad is totally dead and your mum is completely batshit mental and posts naked pictures of herself on twitter.”
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