Yes! Just When You Thought Lindsay Lohan Was Getting Boring, She Turns Into A Jewel Thief!

We were very worried when Lindsay Lohan went to rehab, mainly because she was looking dangerously like she was about to become a wholesome bore… and Hollywood has enough of those idiots.

However, LiLo isn’t going to let us down! It’s reported and alleged and all that, that our LoLiLoHaHo could be in trouble with the law all over again and this time, with an immensely serious accusation hanging over her head!

Step aside Lohan the Drug Abuser and step forward LiLo The Jewel Thief!

That’s right folks – Lohan is apparently under investigation in the theft of jewels, with one of the pieces nicked being priced at $5,000. This makes the crime a bona fide felony… which is wonderful news! We hope she stole them while wearing a black turtle neck sweater and swung through the air like a master criminal.

Someone at CBS says:

“Law enforcement sources tell Radar Online that Lindsay is suspected to have stolen a high-end piece of jewelry, most likely a necklace”

Better yet, police apparently have the surveillance video from the store to back up their claims! This is exciting isn’t it? It certainly seems that the police are desperate to arrest Lohan for absolutely anything after all that business in the Betty Ford clinic.

The CBS schmuck continues:

“As we understand it, police have in their possession video they believe forms a very powerful piece of evidence in this case – video that shows Lindsay Lohan wearing the necklace in question.”

The LAPD now have a search warrant for Lohan’s new house Venice Beach, where Lohan is probably spying on her ex, Samantha Ronson who lives next door, with a great big drug-shaped telescope.

The LA Times says that a Lohan associate turned the necklace over to them while the oo oo, call) the police prepared their warrant. Of course, Lohalilbaloo is still on probation and has been told sternly that she could be sentenced to six months jail time for any violation.

God bless you Lindsay, and your complete inability to stay away from the constant streams of shit that hit your personal life.

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  1. Eugene says

    Lindsay is probably worried that if she behaves, her tabloid coverage will cease. And really, that’s all she’s famous for at the moment. It’s not like she actually acts or anything.

    Anyway, she rips off some jewelry, and hey presto — She’s back in the news!

  2. KaleMeh says

    No! How can you be excited?!
    If she is guilty of this crime… she’ll go to jail for ages and then she’ll really be boring…as she’ll be sitting in a cell….

    Ohp… silly me… I forgot… US legal system… nvm carry on… she’ll be out of jail in 24 hours…

    ps – have they let Spector out yet?