It's been a rather eventful for homosexuals this week. It's been like a bad episode of Big Brother with people coming in and going out. Or like Frankie Cocozzo?s pee-pipe when he visits the GUM clinic. He's probably had more pricks in there than George Michael has had hot cocks.
Zachary Quinto, the World?s hairiest man has ?come out,? and seemed surprised by people?s reactions, and Jason Orange, the ?Is He, Isn't He? member of Take That has been rumoured to be porking Catherine Tate for the past few months. Which is one of the strangest pairings since Kinga ?Bootle Clunge? was dating Kemal from Big Brother.
A week of surprises all round really. But what you're about to read isn't going to shock you in any ways, except maybe that you hadn?t quite seen it before. Craig Colton – one of the favourites to win this year?s X Factor is completely and entirely gay.
Nu Vibe, the eliminated group who had as much likeability as Chris Brown?s right fist, let slip to Holy Moly that Craig was a ?bum boy? (their words, really, REALLY not ours), which has had pubescent teens claiming that they have outed him. Even though it's bizarrely obvious. Think of it like trying to do a Magic Eye. You know there's something there, but you just can't see it unless you squint hard enough.
Or see him getting noshed off next to a urinal in Bethnal Green.
But it's alright everyone! Don't get your knickers in a twist. He's not bothered that people know about his sexuality. He even helpfully spoke to the Daily Star saying:
?I have never hidden my sexuality and I am proud of who I am. Nu Vibe are all my best mates.?
Which to us sounds like a stock answer from an X Factor spokesperson doesn't it? Nu Vibe seem to not be very nice people at all either. Who uses ?bum boy? anymore? Come on lads, pick up the pace a bit.
No one can be really surprised by Craig?s gayness. What would be more dramatic is if Johnny Robinson wasn?t gay. Or Tulisa actually showed her feisty side, instead of being a generally mental Jeremy Kyle guest.
So congrats Craig! Have a willy or two on us!
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Dave says
He looks like Chaz Bono’s younger brother.
Norbert Fortesque says
What a fat, ugly, tuneless sodomite. Taking a cock up your arse is not talent, it is tragic. He can sing like anyone with piles.