In what felt like week 36 of this year’s X Factor, the first semi-exciting incident occurred last Saturday night.
And, amazingly, it wasn’t Dannii Minogue pulling a facial expression other than that of a rabbit before it gets squashed by a car or the camera crew not zooming in Holly Willoughby‘s boobies
Instead it was the shock departure of Laura White, one of the favourites to win X Factor. Laura White was the fifth person to be booted off, after the public deemed her rubbisher than everyone else. Even that Daniel bloke who sounds at best like he should belong in the working men’s club circuit did better then her. Naturally, fans of the show with too much time on their hands set up Facebook campaigns to get her reinstated. This has technically worked, because now someone’s given her a record deal.
X Factor has vomited up some memorable winners over the years. Last year, sales of Kleenex tissues went through the roof as the little crying Scottish boy known as Leon Jackson blubbered his way into the final, the nation’s hearts and bargain basement bins in Woolworths. Though to be fair to him, he did beat the scary looking Welsh virgin Rhydian and the incesty-looking duo Same Difference. And this year, one potential X Factor winner was Laura White.
But on Saturday, viewers decided that Laura White had botched up her interpretation of a Mariah Carey song and finished in the bottom two were Laura White and Ruth “I should be an Avon lady” Lorenzo. In a landslide vote, Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and the less popular Minogue sister all voted for Laura to be chucked out of the competition. Only Cheryl Cole voted to keep White in for another week. But although Laura White is gone, she’s not been forgotten.
Because Facebook lets any old moron start a protest these days, plenty of groups popped up demanding that Laura be brought back into the competition, including Laura White To Win X Factor, Laura White For Xmas Number One and Bring Back Laura White To X Factor Now which has over 21,000 names signed to it. Though, since millions of people watch X Factor, it makes us wonder that 99.6% of people aren’t really bothered that she’s gone.
ITV doesn’t care, but someone at a record company does! Oh yes, if rumours are to be believed, then Laura has been approached to knock out a few bland cover versions of soppy ballads in album form. And what more concrete evidence do you need then this reassuring quote from her father Adrian?
“We’re waiting to see what they have to say.”
Well, we’d assume it would either be a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. But if it’s ‘yes’, what angle can Laura go for? As we’ve said, Leon Jackson has the crying thing going on, Leona Lewis is being groomed to become all American and supersize all her food portions and, er, that’s about it really. No-one else from the competition seems to have done anything worth shouting about.
Because of this, we think that Laura should go for ghetto reject image. You know, she grew up in poverty and baked cakes laced with heroin and gave them to the elderly. But saying she got shot six times would ruin everything – we don’t want to turn her into 50 Cent.
The next calamity on X Factor will no doubt be when Britney Spears rolls into town. We hear the climax of her performance will involve her children, a flaming stick and the art of juggling.
Leanne says
It does make me wonder when you say “fans of the show with too much time on their hands set up Facebook campaigns”. Hmmm at least they haven’t wrote an ESSAY about a show they appear to hate. Seriously, why bother writing this when your (not very good) sarcastic comments give the idea that you despise the show. Do you REALLY hate the show? I think not. I think you just want to make out you are “funny” (i’d use bigger inverted commas on that if i could). Anyway, happy blogging! Keep up the good work! Hope you find your purpose in life soon.
Jen says
Take a look at this story I’ve just found on Heatworld.com!! It’s about Laura’s new video!!
http://www.heatworld.com/Article/12387/Laura-White/Watch-The-X-Factors-Laura-Whites-brand-new-video