So Phillip Magee is the latest contender to be eliminated from X Factor. And thank goodness for that – his terrified, bibbly-bobbly headed, shrieking rendition of Johnny B. Goode was absolutely the worst thing we had ever seen on TV, ever. It was so bad that we rammed kebab skewers into our ears and eyes over and over again to end the pain of watching it. Yes, if we’d have thought it through we could have just turned the TV off; no, we didn’t think of that at the time.
So with Phillip Magee out of X Factor – and never to be heard of again – are we any closer to finding out which X Factor contestant will win the series?
Here are the latest betting odds of each remaining contestant to win X Factor, with help from Betfair.com…
Chico Slimari – To those of you who don’t know Chico, he can best be
described as a kind of deranged Ricky Martin. So getting him to sing a
Ricky Martin song on Saturday was a big mistake, and he performed it so
badly that it almost cost him his place in the competition. Chico’s
talent lies in his appeal as a curio – he can’t sing or dance or even
pronounce words properly – so to not get eliminated next Saturday he needs
to sing something completely, beguilingly weird. We’d suggest Champagne
And The Starlite by Thea Hermann, in fact we’d vote a million times for
him if he did. Current odds – 109/1
Chenai Zinyuku – Chenai’s stopped crying every nanosecond recently,
and she’s stopped obsessively telling everyone how important X Factor
is to her, too. This is a good thing. She sang a dreadfully bland
wedding reception song on Saturday. This is a bad thing. We’d say that
Chenai has a good few weeks left in X Factor, but she doesn’t stand a
hope in Hell’s chance of winning. Sorry Ami. Current odds – 79/1
The Conway Sisters – We recently found out that Louis Walsh had signed The
Conway Sisters before X Factor started. And we don’t know what displeases us
more: the fact that a manager can insert one of his own acts into a
nationally-broadcast talent contest in such a cynical way, or the fact
that anyone would actually want to sign such a rubbish set of wonky
singers in the first place. The Conway Sisters are so bad that they
make us want to cry. And they’re almost certain not to win. Current
odds – 64/1
Nicholas Dorsett – Poor old Nicolas Dorsett. Instead of a
personality, God gave him a funny haircut instead and hoped nobody
would notice. Nicholas is a good singer with a good voice, but it seems
like such an uphill struggle for him to put his identity on any of the
songs he sings. And isn’t that what X Factor is about? Well, no, it’s
actually about the managers pretending to hate each other to get people
watching, but you get the gist. Current odds – 14/1
Brenda Edwards – So Brenda doesn’t look like a pop-star. She doesn’t
even sound like a pop-star. But the woman can belt out a song with such
enormous power and belief that we can’t help feeling more and more
endeared to her each time we see her. She runs the risk of being the
next Jane McDonald if she wins, but we’d quite like her to be given the
chance. Scary scary eyes, though. Current odds – 23/2
Maria Lawson – Everyone likes Maria Lawson, especially – judging by
the size of her breasts – 14-year-old schoolboys. But is she good
enough to actually win X Factor? The fact that – aside from commenting
on her chest and mentioning that she’s quite a good singer – we can’t
think of a single good or bad thing to say about her would lead us to
suggest that she isn’t. Current odds – 27/4
Journey South – We’re not alone in hating Journey South any more. Charlie Brooker hates them too, and he wrote Spoons and everything. Journey South may
sing vaguely rocky songs, but they only choose the very very absolute
worst MOR rock songs that have ever been written. And when their name
was read out at the end of Saturday’s show, they did a little handshake/hug combo that was so patently rehearsed that it made a blood
vessel burst in our head the instant that we saw it. And we’re convinced
that the guitar they use isn’t plugged in. Current odds – 27/5
Andy Abraham – Andy’s popularity has taken a tumble lately. Maybe
it’s because he looks like a prawn, or maybe it’s because he isn’t
playing up to his reputation as a sad old binman as much as he could
be. Dressing him up like a 1920s BBC announcer and making him sing a
Nat King Cole song on Saturday didn’t do him any favours – even if he
did sing it pretty well. People need to be reminded that he is a destitute
binman with an unnaturally large family to support. Next week, dress
him in rags and make him weep his way through I Who Have Nothing and
watch his popularity soar. Current odds – 19/5
Shayne Ward – Shayne seems to have X Factor sewn up already. He’s
been on more front pages than anyone else, girls love him more than
anyone else and he’s way out in front of the betting odds. But why? He
divved his way through a bad karaoke version of a Bryan Adams (Byran
Adams!) song without adding anything of himself to it, and people still
want him to win. The Shayne Ward X Factor backlash starts here, people. Current odds – 11/6
Later on in the week we’ll look at a bunch of other X Factor betting odds, but in
the meantime, head over to the UK TV Special Bets section of Betfair.com. And bet, goddammit – there’s money to be made here. You even get free stuff when you join up, look…
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[story by Stuart Heritage]
sarah stedham says
i luv nicolas he should have one and sharon u no it!!!!!
jenna says
i think nicolas is sexy and he woz a boss singer he shouldent of gone hez better dan any1 on the show and i dont care wot no1 says!!! he better become a singer so i can buy is albem and go an see im in concert!!! thanks x x x
Sarah says
OMG!!! HE HAS GOOD HAIR!!! AND HE HAS A GOOD PERSONALITY U BIMBOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND he has a good voice!!!!! btw, HE’S MINE!!! HE’S BUFF, HAS NICE HAIR, KL PERSONALITY, AND A GOOD VOICE!!! LOSERS!!!