The final of X Factor is always a bittersweet affair. Any trace of sadness that the country's premiere talent show competition is balanced by the creeping certainty that we're going to be really really violently sick of the winner by Sunday afternoon.
We've seen X Factor right from the start – from back in the summer, in fact, when we had nothing better to do with our time than to laugh at the borderline disabled contestants who lined up in the pouring rain with 10,000 other grasping shitheads just so they could sing the first three words of The Greatest Love Of All before getting called an awful wanker by Simon Cowell. Since then we watched the obligatory rubbish X Factor bootcamp episodes and then what we'd all been waiting for – the live X Factor elimination shows. Anyone remember 4Sure? Dionne? The wheelchair girl? They don't matter any more – tomorrow is the X Factor final; it's a straight-ahead race between dull but good Leona Lewis and dull but shit Ray Quinn. This is your last chance to place an X Factor bet, people. Do us proud.
Here are the X Factor final betting odds for Ray Quinn and Leona Lewis…
Ray Quinn – Right from day one of X Factor, we knew there were a few acts we didn't especially care for. One was Eton Road – who seemed to possess the strange desire to deconstruct every song they performed so that they could slide in an interlude that sounded like someone burning a sack of mice during choir practise – and the other one was Ray Quinn. Let's make ourselves clear for once – Ray Quinn is a boy without a single apparent redeeming feature. Born with a face that looks like the Jude Law whorebot from AI as designed by a committee of giggling Japanese schoolgirls, Ray Quinn burst into tears during the X Factor bootcamp stage, and only managed to get less likable from thereon in. After a couple of shaky weeks singing bad Rod Stewart songs, the X Factor Big Band night gave Ray an epiphany – so long as he wore an old-fashioned suit and sang a selection of nostalgic swing songs in the style of a man with a dislocated jaw having a stroke, the people would vote for him. And they did – they voted Ray through after his horrible swing version of Waterloo by Abba and they voted him through after he somehow managed to make My Way sound even more egomaniacal than the original. If we didn't know that X Factor was a jumped-up exercise in wringing as many text-votes as possible from the British public, we'd urge you to make sure Ray doesn't win. We don't really care that much, but remember you get the talent-show one hit wonder you deserve, people. Current X Factor betting odds – 2/1
Leona Lewis – We'll admit that we didn't like Leona Lewis at the start of X Factor, mainly because she was chosen at the bootcamp stage over Gemma Sampson – an X Factor contestant that we became briefly infatuated with. But now we've decided that it's not possible to hate Leona Lewis, because Leona Lewis is incapable of inspiring any kind of emotion whatsoever. As soon as Leona Lewis opened her mouth to sing her first X Factor song, it was abundantly clear that the girl knew how to belt out a power ballad or two, but that's about all. In her video interviews, post-performance interviews and those godawful ITV2 X Factor shows, Leona has shown that she's so devoid of charisma that she may as well be replaced with a photocopy machine in a pretty dress for the moments when she's not singing. Doesn't X Factor mean the indefinable quality that propels someone above being just a good singer? We're not sure that Leona Lewis has that and, anyway, can you really put your hand on your heart and say you'll go out and buy a CD of Leona Lewis singing an old Kelly Clarkson song? Really? Anyway, we're saying we want everyone to somehow go and vote for Gemma Sampson but, failing that, we'd like Leona to lose X Factor slightly less than Ray. Current X Factor betting odds – 1/3
Next week – Probably Christmas number one betting odds or something. Who knows?
geo4ray says
I LOVE RAY 4EVA!!!!!!! im gonna see him in feb and i cant wait! im gonna shout ray the whole time! coz he is so fit! and he is such a good singer and dancer! and he can act! he is so talented! cant wait till i see him!
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tuesday says
my friend reegan thinks ray is the best and i think thats true
chloe baby says
I LOV RAY HIS SOOOOOOO CUTE he should of won but i heard leona live an she is amazing
Gemma says
Brooklyn FLASH!!! hOT HOT HOT
Gemma Abaring and Ray Ortega got married December 28th 2006….
Oh how I love my Ray Baby she said! As soon as he got his divorce, I got my 2 Kt. rock and we got married.
My Ray is a big plastic surgeon in New York city. He is hot and sexy baby.
G.
Gemma says
gross