Today is a dark day indeed – X Factor has emerged, blinking and vulnerable, into a brand new dawn without the bizarro squeaking of Chico Slimari.
It could have been the absence of little dancing black kids that killed Chico’s X Factor chances. But that didn’t stop him from trying every single demented trick in the book – running
into the audience, pouring water on his own head, wearing a shirt with his own name written on it, making his nipples
dance in time to the music. But still, the It’s Chico’s Crazy Party Time CD must be moments away.
Now Chico is out of the X Factor running, who’s going to win the series? Here are the latest betting odds to win X Factor, with help from SportingOdds.com…
Andy Abraham – Not a good week for Andy this week. The first warning
sign came when the camera picked up a shot of his (probably
impoverished) son wearing a T-shirt with the word ‘Daddy’ on it. Then
Andy went on to perform the very very absolute worst ever version of
Easy Lover, complete with weird monkey-dance – no mean feat considering
what a bag of cocks that song was to begin with. But then he returned with a trademark
Nat King Cole croon, and everyone started liking him again. And then he started
talking about his fans again, and everyone stopped liking him again. Current odds – 13/2
Brenda Edwards – Everyone on the planet can do a comedy Anastasia
impression, and on Saturday’s X Factor Brenda showed that she could,
too. Her I’m Outta Love was a lot of big boring poopy karaoke cack, but she
managed to return with a mercilessly populist second song. We were
expecting I’ll Never Fall In Love Again but she sung I’ll Never Love
This Way Again instead. And it was full of all the stuff X Factor
voters love: giant enormous long notes, key-changes, schmaltzy song. We
lost our dinner, but the voters loved her. Current odds – 4/1
Journey South – Having to sing two songs showed two different sides
of Journey South on Saturday’s X Factor: the side that buggers up
introspective songs and the side that buggers up songs about dead
princesses. It was a smart choice to get Journey South to sing
something subtle like Bad Day by Daniel Powter – even if they decided
to sing "you heeeeeeeeerd a beeeeeeeerd day." Candle In The Wind, on
the other hand, was the most manipulative song choice in the history of
X Factor, seeing as how Candle In The Wind = funerals and Journey South
sung it on the day of George Best‘s televised funeral. And it was a bad
performance – all over-earnest and full of histrionics – but it pissed
Sharon Osbourne off, so it wasn’t completely without merit. Current
odds – 11/4
Shayne Ward – Not a lot to say about Shayne this week. He did on
Saturday’s X Factor what he’s done on X Factor since the start –
snoozed his way through rubbish songs. When it was announced that
Shayne would be singing Take Your Mama Out, we thought it was a risk.
But it wasn’t – Shayne typically smoothed off all of the quirky edges
and blanded it out. But at least he picked a second song that didn’t
have any quirky edges – Careless Whisper. While we’re at it: "Guilty
feet have got no rhythm"? What the fuck? Current odds – Evens
Later on in the week we’ll give you the latest betting odds for the
X Factor managers and the next X Factor elimination. But until then,
check out the Special Bets section of SportingOdds.com. And bet, goddammit – there’s money to be made here.
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[story by Stuart Heritage]
hev says
i htink chico was the ebst and know the x factor is goign ot be borring as he was always the one who made it happpy i know he cant sing and tht but i wud rather go and wach chico than go and seee brenda or andy they are older and they wont do the music tht me and the other tenagers wiklll listen 2
allana says
hi chico i fort u woz gonna win :( even tho u didnt u will still make ur oun comady right? lol g2g bi xxx
chantelle says
omg i cnt believe chico went!!!! he gave of the best entertainment! brenda is the best singer but chico is the best performer by FAR!
“chico time” is the best! il b buyin his c.d! get in chico! ur still a winner 2 me!
lv chan!!xXxX
wat time is it?………its chico time!!!!!!!
stephanie foster 12yrs old says
Chico was amazing,it was a tight decision 4 me between shayne and chico and they both should of won. Chico is good looking and has a nice body so…wat time is it……… its chico time
hannah parfitt says
chico is da best i luv him he is soooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy and adorable and brill i woz gutted wen he woz voted out
what time time is it……………………………its chico time