Every superhero has a weakness. Superman has kryptonite, Batman has young boys in capes and sexy leggings, and to beat Spider-Man all you really have to do is move your crime syndicate to a prairie. It really is that easy.
To?defeat Wolverine, on the other hand, may take a little more work. After all, he’s got those steel fingers he always seems to cut things up with. How’s a person supposed to get around a weapon like that? The answer, of course, it that they can’t.
Pigs can though – especially Mexican pigs with runny noses and a burning fever.
Having already seen the film illegally over 10 times, we can say with a high degree of certainty that it would have been much better if the love-making scene between Wolverine and Magneto had just been limited to 20 minutes. Instead the writers and or producers thought it’d be a good idea to make that night-time romp the bulk of the plot. Sure, at first it seemed sexy enough, but a normal person can only tolerate Ian McKellen playfully choking on Hugh Jackman‘s chest hair so many times.
Seriously – how that thing avoided an R rating we’ll never know.
One thing it didn’t avoid, however, is the swine flu (it’s like the bird flu only better). If what we understand is true, then every single trained movie-house projectionist in Mexico has recently died or something, so the movie premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine has been seriously hampered.
Or as E! Online explains it:
“Wednesday’s all-star Mexico City premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine has been scrapped due to the region’s deadly swine-flu outbreak, 20th Century Fox confirmed today.”
If you ask us this is all just another example of Mexico’s unwieldy rudeness. First they clog our Home Depot parking lots, then turn all the money we give them for roads into a governor’s backyard swimming pool with a crazy Spanish colour-scheme, and now this?
No! No Mexico! We are putting our foot down. We have given you the best that we can give, that being in this case a pretty good opportunity for your cartels to put an unsuspecting Hugh Jackman in one of your fancy border-town body bags, and this is how you treat us? With an epidemic?
He doesn’t really have those claws you know. Is that what you thought Mexico? That those special effects were real? You’re so stupid Mexico! What do they teach you in those three-walled schools of yours!
And while we’re at it – you really should treat Paraguayans with respect!
They’re human beings Mexico!
You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!
maria says
Hey! Stop talking shit about mexico!! You idiots!!!!
montin says
hey,assholes,,,there
aziza says
They are from England. Douche