When you think of Winnie The Pooh, what do you think of? Pooh-sticks? Yes. Gentle, pastoral stories about making friends? Yes. An uncanny resemblance to ancient Chinese Taoism? Shut up, hippy.

Winnie The Pooh stories are all about Christopher Robin, a boy who has a special little bear chum called Winnie The Pooh who he plays with in the woods, right? Not according to Disney – it’s decided to give Winnie The Pooh a new eye-burning revamp and – worse – Christopher Robin has had a gender-swap op.

To mark the 80th anniversary of the first Winnie The Pooh (Stuff) story, Disney is planning something really special. No, not reminding everyone what pleasant little stories were contained in the original A.A Milne books. Instead, it’s going to completely trash the whole scene. According to The Times:

Among the frantic merchandising activities
laid on to mark the 80th anniversary of Hundred Acre Wood, Disney has
commissioned an animated series My Friends Tigger and Pooh. The Bear of Very Little Brain will be more active and the
characters first rendered by Ernest Shepherd will appear in 3-D
computer animation in brighter colours. But what is most likely to anger longtime Milne devotees is
the arrival of the “tomboyish girl” in the role usually played by
Christopher Robin.

Yes, that’s right. Christopher Robin – the very special friend of Winnie The Pooh and actual son of A.A Milne – is being gently but firmly led to the door by Disney security guards. But there’s a reason for all this rampant Winnie The Pooh revamping: the little children.

The new series of Winnie The Pooh will be aimed very firmly at pre-school children, and they respond better to bright colours and, um, cartoon girls. And stuff. Look, we don’t really have a clue. Here’s a Disney spokesman to explain:

“The young character will elicit physical,
cognitive and emotional responses from the viewing audience and will
also address them directly.”

So now you know. But what of the family of Christopher Robin? How do they feel about their dead patriarch being so cruelly axed from the Winnie The Pooh franchise? Christopher Robin’s widow told The Times:

“He hated the character Christopher Robin and
Winnie the Pooh and Disney. He detested the whole set- up
so much that I don’t think he would have minded the loss.”

Fair enough, then. Rumours that Piglet will also be transformed into a hard-drinking cop who plays by his own rules with a tiresome ex-wife are still unconfirmed.

Read more:

My, Christopher Robin, You’ve Changed - The Times

[story by Stuart Heritage]