City Slickers was a good little film, wasn't it? But you know what would have made it better? John Travolta instead of Billy Crystal, and Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen and William H Macy instead of those other ones – and we're not alone in thinking this.
Wild Hogs – which is more or less what we've described, but with motorbikes instead of horses and cloying sentimentality instead of modern-day Jewish emasculation – is the number one movie at the weekend box office this week. And quite right too, because the world is full of people who desperate want to make a weekend box office success of Wild Hogs – after all, who doesn't want to see a movie where the power-house leads of Be Cool, The Shaggy Dog, Big Momma's House 2 and It's A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie collide?
Anyone?
Wild Hogs is one of those movies that deserves your attention, as proved by its strong opening numbers in the US weekend box office. Wild Hogs is a film that was being discussed an entire year ago – but only because the Hell's Angels were determined to sue it. And not because of trademark infringement either – Hell's Angels were suing Wild Hogs because, like us, the thought of spending close to two hours watching John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and William H Macy learning important life lessons via a series of zany incidents made them want to throw themselves out of a 13th floor window. Or something. Anyway, here's this week's US weekend box office top five…
1 – Wild Hogs (That Wild Hogs follows Ghost Rider's weekend box office success, it seems that motorbikes are the new in thing for Hollywood. That's why we're praying that a Ghost Rider/ Wild Hogs mashup movie goes into production, where John Travolta basically just sits on a motorbike and sets fire to his face with 12 cans of lighter fluid and a blowtorch) $38,000,000
2 – Zodiac (A film about Mystic Meg going on a murdering spree around San Francisco while being followed by Iron Man and one of the Brokeback Mountain cowboys. Or something) $13,100,000
3 – Ghost Rider (That Ghost Rider preempted Wild Hog's weekend box office success, it seems that motorbikes are the new in thing for Hollywood. That's why we're praying for a Ghost Rider/ Wild Hogs mashup movie to go into production, where John Travolta basically just sits on a motorbike and sets fire to… oh, deja-vu. Weird) $11,500,000
4 – Bridge To Terabithia (There's a bit in the trailer to Bridge To Terabithia where a boy asks "What shall we call this place?" and a girl replies "We will call it… Terabithia!" If a girl ever said anything like that in our earshot, we'd punch her in the face. No joke) $8,587,000
5 – The Number 23 (Apparently the number 23 has all kinds of mystic meanings, but that's crap. We typed a random number [38] into Wikipedia and discovered that 38 is a danish yoghurt rich on acidophilus, there are 38 slots on an American Roulette wheel and that 38! – 1 yields 523022617466601111760007224100074291199999999, which is a factorial prime. Where's your film about that, Carrey? WHERE'S YOUR FILM ABOUT THAT?) $7,050,000
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isalotte says
Is that a picture of John Travolta being attcaked by a raven? It sorta makes me wanna see the movie more now
Marilyn says
A Very Merry Muppet Christmas is an EXCELLENT movie….