It looked like the latest instalment of the Harry Potter films was going to stay at the top of the box office chart ’til the new year kicked in, but it limped off like a weary magician after a failed children’s party.
Instead, the top five is a Harry Potter free zone with Tron landing the Christmas number one (read our review here or you’ll die) spot, which shows that people don’t want substance at this time of year.
They want 3D aerobee!
And so, CGIfests feature heavily in the Christmas box office with Tron rubbing shoulders with Yogi Bear and the hippie-dippy cod-Christian fable of The Chronicles of Narnia.
Anyway, we don’t want to say too much about the films because… well… we have to write about them in the chart run-down and we’re already running out of words.
We’ve been writing words all year and nearly maxed out.
You’ve noticed right?
1. Huzzah! The daydreams of Pacman finally get realised with some amazing graphics and a complete absence of story (okay, there is some story, but no-one can be bothered with that can they?). Yep, Tron Legacy is nerd eye-candy of the highest order and cementing our need for real life speeder bike things. $43,600,000
2. Yogi Bear is, despite what he claims, one of the stupidest bears around. Everyone knows damn well that Boo-Boo is the brains in the outfit. A recent viral video saw Yogi getting his brains blown out by a money hungry Boo-Boo, which is totally not how this film rolls. $16,705,000
3. Hark! The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is, without doubt, one of the longest film titles of the last decade. There’s talking lions and all that shit. $12,400,000
4. The Fighter sees a welterweight boxer scrotebag called Dicky Eklund plunging into the cheery world of crack addiction, high violence and prison. Mark Walberg and Christian Bale take their tops off. Merry Christmas. $12,200,000
5. The Tourist is a thriller film directed by the hilariously named Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. The main draw it seems is that it gives people the chance to stare at Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, thereby imagining what they might look like when they have sex with each other. $8,700,000
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Bobby says
No “Black Swan”? :(
Zeeshan says
Mof, Deathly Hallows Part 1 has made $825 MILLION WORLDWIDE (and counting), in the four weeks it has been in theaters. How exactly did it “limp off like a weary magician after a failed children
Zeeshan says
Mof, did you delete my previous comment because I said you don’t have your facts correct?
Deathly Hallows Part 1 has made $825 MILLION WORLDWIDE (WITHOUT INCREASED 3D TICKET PRICES) in four weeks; it is no way “limping” as you mistakenly suggested. It will still make more money worldwide, its run is not yet over.
Again, get your facts right!