If you ask us, nothing says happy new year like an aggressive ginger midget bellowing about genitals on the news.
So thank heavens for Kathy Griffin. Because only Kathy Griffin realised that her job co-hosting the live New Year’s countdown on CNN would give her the perfect opportunity to scream abusive penis-related epithets at random strangers in front of millions of people.
If you watched CNN on New Year’s Eve, you’ll know all about Kathy Griffin’s little outburst. But if you made the mistake of not spending your New Year’s Eve sitting at home glumly watching the news, we have the video.
OK, look. We’re sorry. We know we said that 2008 was going to be Lindsay Lohan‘s year of sex, but we were wrong. Looking back, it’s clear to us that 2008 was about something far more profound. History, we now understand, will remember 2008 as the year of elderly female celebrities roaring swearwords on live television like crazy old red-faced dockers in the early stages of dementia.
It’s true – we had Diane Keaton shouting ‘fuck’ on Good Morning America, Jane Fonda shouting ‘cunt‘ on the Today show and Joan Rivers calling Russell Crowe ‘a piece of fucking shit’ on Loose Women. It was absolutely our mistake, and we apologise wholeheartedly for not picking up on it sooner.
At least Kathy Griffin was more eagle-eyed, though. She didn’t just notice the trend but, in her position as co-host of CNN’s live New Year’s countdown broadcast, Kathy Griffin actually managed to add to the canon before the clock ran out, as the New York Daily News is only too happy to point out:
During the brief video available?Griffin has begun to respond to remarks?yelled at her from the crowd. It eventually escalates, and Cooper sends viewers off to a commercial break. The image changes to show revelers along Bourbon Street in New Orleans, but we can still hear Griffin, who delivers a sharp jab to her detractor.
Oh, go on then. Here’s the video…
Now you might be wondering why CNN didn’t manage to drop the sound until after Kathy Griffin had managed to bellow “I don’t come to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth” at the stranger, but we’ve got a couple of theories. Theory one is that late at night, ‘dick’ doesn’t really count as a swearword. Theory two is that Kathy Griffin’s voice is already such a grossly disagreeable hack that she could read passages from Sense And Sensibility and it’ll still sound like an offensive torrent of cursing, so it didn’t really matter how rude she was.
However, now that YouTube has made the little-watched outburst into something approaching a sensation, we get the feeling that Kathy Griffin will have to publicly apologise before it escalates into an Isaiah Washington-style scenario. Because, honestly, the last thing we need to see is Kathy Griffin presenting a PSA promoting tolerance towards the ‘men who professionally store dicks in their mouths’ community.
But whatever the repercussions, at least Kathy Griffin has helped to make the next CNN New Year’s countdown broadcast a must-see event, just on the off-chance that she goes off-piste and does something similarly offensive again. And CNN’s rivals know it, which is why MSNBC has already scheduled a show called Rosie O’Donnell Slaps A Prostitute In The Face for 11pm on December 31, while Fox has opted for the more traditional Happy New Year From Megyn Kelly And The Tramp Whose Eye She’s Shitting Into.
irish gemini says
Joan Rivers also repeated to Bridgette Nelson that she was a cunt. Not sure if that was in 2008.
Sarah says
I hate Kathy Griffin. Everything about her just makes my skin crawl. Why won’t she go away? Who made her semi-famous in the first place? These are things I want to know.