Kanye West lives in a world where once he achieves a certain meditative state, wondrously graceful pixies fly in through his open window and whisper unconventional rap lyrics into his ear. A little pink one named ‘Ice Cream’ whispered all of Gold Digger to him once when he fell asleep on the toilet.
We have this all on good authority. We wouldn’t publish it any other way.
When West is getting that springtime fresh pixie breath whispered into his ear – well we bet nothing has ever felt better. When he’s not though – that’s gotta just bring him down. He definitely didn’t have any magical fairy friends with him when he grabbed a photographers camera, lifted it way over his head and then threw it to the ground as hard as he possibly could.
This was all caught on tape by the way – video tape, to be exact.
Kanye West went and got himself arrested. While incarcerated we understand he decided to finally make something of himself by going back to school, and majoring in refrigerator repair.
You see, West was in an airport recently when a photographer started snapping pics of him. Kanye was displeased, and he smashed the photog’s camera until it was broke, broke.
It’s thought that what sparked the rapper’s rage wasn’t the fact that pictures were being taken, but that the picture taker was eating a Whopper while doing so. He hates Big Macs too. He also hates whatever Wendy’s main sandwich is, and he can’t for the life of him understand why someone would opt for an inferior burger when the one’s he’d gladly make you are fortified with so much more essential nutrients and iron.
We don’t understand it either Kanye. We also don’t understand why you’d go on such a weird rampage when you’re clearly surrounded by paparazzi with video cameras flashing little red dots in your general direction.
TMZ owns one of Kanye’s unfortunate victims, that’s why they are in the perfect position to describe the scene:
“You see Kanye (in a gray hooded sweatshirt) and his bodyguard/road manager (in the red) grabbing the camera away from the photog. It appears the bodyguard, Don Crowley, gets the camera and Kanye gets the lighting component. Crowley smashes the camera to the ground and Kanye does the same with the light.
“Erik, our camera guy, then comes closer and the bodyguard then comes up and wrestles his camera away, ultimately breaking it. As we first reported, both Kanye and his bodyguard were arrested for vandalism. They’re both being held on $20,000 bail.”
Taken at face value it looks like West is acting astoundingly villainous. What you don’t know is that the photographer who suffered the brunt of the attack had just been mocking all of West’s feeble attempts to end kiddie porn forever, bring peace to Georgians and to prepare a landing pad way up atop the Mount of Olives.
See, such mockery is something we just couldn’t stand for either.