Here’s the kicker: When a sperm unifies with an egg and the cells split, resulting in a baby growing inside your womb, it will eventually start showing around your guts. You may look fat, but in actual fact, it’s just a human hiding under your skin. Right?
This is pretty basic science, but something Victoria Beckham doesn’t seem to understand.
Basically, Posh is hitting the gym constantly in a bid to stay thin, something that her ball-kicking husband, David, is keen to discourage her from. It would appear that one of the dimmest sportsmen on the planet has a better grasp of the gestation period than his wife. Which in itself is astonishing enough.
A source, who we must trust with our lives, says:
?Victoria hates putting on weight. She’s been moaning nonstop about how fat she feels’
Alas, Victoria Beckham is eight months pregnant. She’s basically got a fully formed baby inside her, shitting and pissing away like she’s some horribly cramped toilet cubicle.
Yet weirdly, instead of proudly showing off her bump, she’s been trying to hide it. She’s been keeping her baby under wraps, which means we can only assume she’s already disappointed in it.
And she’s right to be. Most humans are incredible let-downs, projecting a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach at each turn, seemingly doing their best to wound you at every turn. The only thing babies have going for them is that their little trainers look kinda cute.
The Beckhams will be seeing their baby cut-out at the beginning of July.
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JoeMomma says
After reading Hecklerspray for a few years now. I think the secret to becoming rich and famous is to be a total, void, vacant, narcissistic, vain , bubbleheaded basket case. It appears then you’ll have mental fans, people will want to throw money at you and tabloids will try and document your every bowel movement.