Uma Thurman: a 12-foot-tall single mother best known for chopping off bloke parts with a big sword, and yet nobody wants to chat her up? Maybe it’s the sight of an eternally in love Quentin Tarantino hiding in the corner that is putting everyone off.
Noooo, we are not running with a lead about the Kill Bill and upcoming Grindhouse director being secretly in love with Uma Thurman. We would like to, but with so many people just wanting the 'facts' these days there is far less room for creative conjecture in journalism. Spoilsports.
However we do have a set in stone quote from Thurman herself about just how little she gets chatted up in bars and libraries and what have you.
It’s lukewarm:
"Men chat me up pretty rarely, if I'm honest – and certainly not the right sort. I'm not sure what the right sort is but they would not use any of those cheesy chat-up lines. I have heard quite a few of those. The worst has to be, 'Hey, has anyone ever told you look like Uma Thurman?"
A few weeks back Uma Thurman felt like retiring from acting to bulk up for a part on Nanny 911. As a mother of two kids from previous marriage to Ethan Hawke, a man who may actually be Stephen Dorff on alternate days, Thurman has good reason for wanting to spend her days down Walmart pursuing the latest celebrity sauce cash-in (Everett Burgers: with added mince!):
"I love acting, truly it is the first love of my life. But I am thinking about becoming a stay-at-home mom."
Sitting on the fence with enough ammunition to retract your statement at a later date is a lady’s mantra. As is her choice of not wanting to get re-married, or make any more films based on serviette scribblings with never one-time lover Quentin Tarantino.
"I'm not getting married. For any human a partner that you trust is invaluable and the partners that I trust most are my children."
Hollywood new blood Sarah Polley will be upset. Not only is the freakish look-alike actress probably nabbing all Uma Thurman’s potential lays down The Varsity on a Saturday afternoon, given half the chance she would probably nab all her new movies too.
Or not, because we made that up. Don’t try and sue, Quentin or Polley. We write these things in a van. Quick, there’s Britney in a nappy! Go, dammit! Drive!
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Vince Wigan says
Size 12 feet. THAT’s why nobody chats her up