What’s nice about America’s Next Top Model is that it takes a young girl who really isn’t good at anything at all, and somehow turns that into a positive.
Throughout a typical season several competing girls learn to take their overall dearth of life-skills and fling them at the camera like a monkey flings fecal matter that’s been picked clean of all its nutritional value. It’s an ode to humanity if you think about it; girls come from nothing, Tyra intervenes, girls receive the potential to make loads of money all over the place by blankly staring into the business end of George Eastman‘s big glass eye.
But what happens if a would-be contestant just has too many penises? Would his bulgy bikini shots be a life-long demerit. Not if Tyra has anything to say about it. Which she does, especially in this case – she’s paying to have one of the show’s contestants get their man-hammer cut off with knives.
Seriously. Sounds like a ratings winner.
The thing about gender is it’s very fickle. Why, in New Guinea there’s an entire tribe of people whose gender for the day is decided by whatever melon they choose to eat for breakfast. It’s potent stuff. Has something to do with seed count. Science can’t explain it, and so we don’t feel obligated to either.
The point being when someone is born into this world it’s never with a specific masculine or feminine destiny in mind. The human race was not meant to be dictated by the little stick figures that grace most public bathroom doors. Just ask Stu.
Think about it – why else would the male penis be so easily detachable. The only thing really separating man from becoming a more genderless woman is getting caught naked in a strong gust of wind too near a pile of loose shingles.
Is that vague?
Tyra Banks understands this all too well. That’s why she’s taking the opportunity to help the first gender-bending contestant on America’s Next Top Model get a free sex change. As Hollyscoop puts it:
“Isis [the transgender contestant from …Top Model] appeared on Tyra to talk about her struggles with her situation, and that she tried not to let it affect her time on Top Model.
“Tyra Banks then introduces Isis to Dr. Marci Bowers, a leading gender reassignment surgeon who has experienced the surgery herself. Isis hasn’t been able to pay for the pricy surgery, which is why Dr. Bowers offers to pay for it herself. Pretty nice of her, huh?”
Well, hecklerspray just hopes Isis understands this surgery could have heavy-handed consequences when it comes to his/her right to vote in several countries around the world.
Also it’ll probably reduce his/her lawn mowing ability. These are the kind of things pre-op transgenders just don’t ever really think about.