Queen Bee of the America’s Next Top Model Bitches, Tyra Banks, can smile with her eyeballs. Now, she’s winking with her pelvic floor muscles as she begins a period in her life which is completely condomless. What? She’s trying to catch a sexually transmitted disease?!
Don’t be silly. Obviously, she’s trying to get pregnant because she’s reached that stage of her life when she feels like she’s got absolutely nothing to offer the world other than identical pictures of a baby coughing up mashed-up swede through it’s crusty little nose holes.
Imagine Tyra’s mothering skills! *shudder*
For some inexplicable reason, CNN are still showing ‘Piers Morgan Tonight’ as the network still hasn’t worked out that this pudding faced git box has about as much charisma as a pan lid. It was on his show that Smizer decided to tell the world that her legs where very much open all hours at the moment in her and her boyfriend (some twit called John Utendahl) are desperate to get a child stuffed up their like a clergyman, quivering in a priest hole.
As proof, here are some of the words she said:
“I definitely want babies”
See? That’s absolutely conclusive.
Piers Morgan went deeper down the rabbit hole and asked if she was trying. Tyra coyly replied:
“Yeah, maybe.”
SEE?! She’s DEFINITELY having a baby! She’s probably got a dozen or so growing inside a special back-pouch as we speak!
But she’s not going to bother getting married before she has a chile, mainly because marriage is a wholly useless, old-fashioned construct for people who simply can’t wrestle free from pointless superstition and routine. Or, in the words of Banks
“I don’t think it’s necessarily necessary.”
Whatever.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!
CatWhisperer says
A pudding faced git box? Looove it! I’m stealing that & will use it daily.
As for Tyra… barf. Or good for her, or whatever.