Here’s a word grouping that’s bound to incite rage and dismay: Tupac Shakur was white. That’s right, he was an Anglo-Saxon, probably of European descent who may have enjoyed the cool breeze that often accompanies wearing a kilt.
Or so claims a psychic anyway – one by the name of Victoria Bullis. And Tupac wasn’t just any white man, no! He was a general in America’s horrible war against itself. For the record, back then he referred to it as The Civil War, not The War Of Northern Aggression, and he was probably chief in charge of recruiting time travellers from the distant future to help the north triumph.
That’s just something we heard on a subway once.
Psychic Victoria Bullis recently worked with manly magazine Stuff on an intense story. The story’s complexity wasn’t so much due to extensive library research and Google perusal as it was from contacting Tupac Shakur (CDs)
from beyond the grave. Difficulty getting ahold of him is no surprise
though, as Tupac is busy up there, and the line is usually crackly. When
he does come through, you have to keep asking him if he’s there every
time you hear a click. It’s a headache most couldn’t handle; luckily
though, Bullis is quite good at it.
She claims that when she contacted Shakur he told her a few things.
The first of which was that in the American Civil War he was a great
white American general, a commander of legions fighting to keep the
union together. We here at hecklerspray think it probably looked
something like the video for California Love, but with a little less dune buggy and a lot more screaming "Boo Yaa!"
Another thing Tupac told her was that he’s not dead, he’s in Brazil and his tattoos are fine. Actually, he told us that, not Bullis, and it wasn’t through any sort of telepathy. We heard him say it when we played Thugz Mansion backwards. He also said he buried someone named Paul and we should worship Ronnie James Dio‘s dark master, whatever that means.
One other thing Tupac did tell Bullis was that he knew who’d
killed him so young in this life. He didn’t drop any specific names,
and that’s lucky as we were just about to avenge him. Regarding Tupac
knowing who his killer was, and how this could possibly be true, Bullis
"When you pass to the next life you see the whole thing."
Plus he was there when it happened – she should have wrapped that in quotation marks too.
[story by Shawn Lindseth]