But why? Do we secretly crave the idea of becoming an empty soul, devoid of human emotion, and only interested in satisfying our own wanton bloodlust through the corruption of innocents. A bit like Madonna. Or is it just because we like the idea of good lie-in. Never growing old is pretty good too. Mind you, you’d miss the sunshine. But then again, we live in England, so it’s swings and roundabouts.
Whatever the reason, we just can’t get enough of them. How else do you explain the popularity of Dr Gillian McKeith‘s You Are What You Eat? Indeed, it seems anything is acceptable as long you dress it in a long, black cloak, fangs and a ghostly complexion. Maybe Hillary Clinton should try it. Oh, she already has (terrible joke, we know).
Anyway, hecklerspray has decided to pick through the crud to find the best Hollywood vampires – and we don’t mean the studios.
Film: The Lost Boys (1987)
Jack Bauer is a vampire. Oh yes. Not sure what’s more frightening: the fact he’s a bloodthirsty killer or the fact he has the balls to have that hairstyle.
Films: Blade (1998), Blade 2 (2002), Blade Trinity (2004)
OK, Wesley’s Snipes‘s titular hero is in fact half-vampire and half-human, hence the reason he can walk around in daylight. But as we’re never going to do a list for the top 10 movie characters that are half-vampire, half-man, it’ll have to do. The opening nightclub sequence in the first film sets the tone for what is a brilliant series.
6. Count Orlok
Film: Nosferatu (1922)
OK, technically, he and Dracula are one in the same as it’s an unauthorised version of Bram Stoker‘s Dracula – with the names changed to protect the not-so-innocent. But, again, give us a break! Why do we like Nosferatu so much? It looks really dated – not surprisingly for a film made in the 1920s – and the dialogue is simply appalling. But, even to this day, there is something about Count Orlok himself which just creeps us out. The silhouette of him and his incredibly long fingernails coming up the stairs really sticks in the memory.
Films: Underworld (2003); Underworld: Evolution (2006)
Forget the ridiculous story and the shitty special effects, Kate Beckinsale‘s sexy vampire assassin is worth the admission alone.
4. Santanico Pandemonium
Film: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
If you had never heard of Salma Hayek before, you certainly did after this film. One of the most memorable movie entrances ever.
Film: Near Dark (1987)
If you have never seen this film, you must rent it out immediately. Basically, it’s almost the entire cast of Aliens (minus Sigourney Weaver and, of course, the xenomorphs) as gun-toting, ass-kicking bloodsuckers.
And at the top of the list is Bill Paxton‘s wisecracking vamp Severin. Simply brilliant.
2. Mr Barlow
Film: Salem’s Lot (1979)
One of the scariest vampires ever. We did not sleep for a week after watching this. OK, we were five.
Films: Too many to list here
Whether it’s Christopher Lee, Bela Lugosi, Gary Oldman or, er, Gerard Butler, every generation has their own Dracula. And so will the next generation, and the next, because his story will be told over and over again. Dracula has almost become synonymous with horror, and just like the character, will live on. Although, can we just say, Keanu Reeves‘s display as Jonathan Harker in Francis Ford Coppola‘s 1992 film is probably the worst ever performance by an actor. He really should not have been paid for that. Glad to get that off our chests.