As far as James Bond is concerned – a license to kill is a license to thrill.
And what better way to exemplify that fact then to look back through all the James Bond movies and pick out the most memorable and gory death scenes.
Now, we realise some of you might think such a list to be slightly in poor taste. We know your type. You believe all killing is wrong – even if it means wasting a homicidal maniac who is hell-bent on world domination – and glorifying it only adds to the problem.
Well, frankly it’s only a bloody movie. It’s all just make-believe and we are having a bit of fun. We bet you are the kind of people who think there is something wrong with beating innocent bystanders to death with a baseball bat in GTA IV. It’s a game, duh! And you think we are the strange ones!
Besides, why shouldn’t James Bond enjoy his work? He saves the bloody world every week and gets no thanks or reward for his troubles. Who are we to judge if he wants to get a bit creative?
Of course, 007 is usually the man responsible for such deeds. But hecklerspray doesn’t want to just limit this list to only the man himself – especially when you have an army of villains waiting in the wings. And there’s plenty to choose from, so feel free to pick out the ones we missed. Not that you miserable gits need any encouragement.
Anyway, enjoy! Or, at least try to.
25. Carver henchman
Henchman gets splattered when he is thrown into a printing press. Ouch! Or as Bond quips: “They’ll print anything these days.”
24. Boris Grishenko
Film: Goldeneye
Annoying Russian computer nerd gets a screen freeze he really didn’t appreciate – he is frozen solid by liquid nitrogen. “I am invincible!” Not.
23. Professor Dent
Film: Dr No
Cigarette in mouth, Sean Connery‘s Bond dispatches the good professor, who has ran out of bullets by this point, as if he’s sinking another dry martini.
22. Elektra King
Film: The World Is Not Enough
OK, most of the film is garbage, particularly Robert Carlyle. However, Sophie Marceau gives a stand out performance as the villainous Elektra King and her death once again shows James Bond as a ruthless, cold-blooded killer. Gun trained at her, King tells Bond, “You wouldn’t kill me, you would miss me.” To which 007 promptly executes her, then says the words “I never miss.”
21. Chuck Farrell
Film: Goldeneye
The Canadian admiral has the life literally squeezed out of him during a bad sex session with a rather aggressive Xenia Onatopp. Well, at least he dies with a smile on his face. (Video clip is not in English).
20. Capungo
Film: Goldfinger
James Bond once again at his quick-thinking best. Having thrown the henchman in a bathtub in his hotel room, Sean Connery follows it up with a lamp. Shocking!
19. Mysterious man in wheelchair with white cat (who is not Blofeld)
Film: For Your Eyes Only
A bald villain menaces Roger Moore‘s James Bond by using a remote control to commandeer his helicopter.
Bond manages to get control of the aircraft, scoops up his wheelchair-bound tormentor and drops him into a large chimney stack. It’s a brilliant scene spoilt by dodgy music, the fact it’s probably meant to be an in-joke following the contract row over Blofeld and it has the worst lines ever uttered by a Bond henchman ever.
If someone can tell us why he offers to buy Bond ‘a delicatessen in stainless steel’, please let us know.
18. Milton Krest
Film: Licence To Kill
Bad guy Anthony Zerbe is put into a high-pressure chamber without a suit by fellow villain Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi). The result: his head explodes. What makes it even better is Sanchez’s quip when asked what they should do with the cash that was in the chamber with Krest. “Launder it,” is his reply. About as gruesome as is gets for Bond.
17. Emilio Largo henchman
Film: Thunderball
A thug learns the price of failure: being thrown in Emilio Largo’s pool full of man-eating sharks. Nice!
16. Kronsteen
Film: From Russia With Love
The chess genius makes the fatal mistake of not complimenting fellow SPECTRE henchman Morzeny on his new shoes. He soon gets the point!
15. Dario
Film: License to Kill
A young Benicio Del Toro is chopped down to size by a grinder.
14. Hamilton
Film: Live and Let Die
The M16 agent – seen observing the Fillet of Soul restaurant in New Orleans – soon realises he’s late for his own funeral.
13. Hugo Drax
Film: Moonraker
The film’s main villain takes one giant leap for mankind.
12. Aki
Film: You Only Live Twice
The Japanese agent is accidentally assassinated by a ninja when a string with poison down it lands in her mouth and not 007’s.
11. Dr Kananga
Film: Live and Let Die
The movie’s main villain is made to swallow a bullet of compressed air and promptly turns into a human balloon. It’s actually quite funny!
10. Helga Brandt
Film: You Only Live Twice
OK, so she was a rubbish Bond girl, but she makes a perfect meal for Blofeld’s piranhas.
9. Vesper Lynd
Film: Casino Royale
Another sad scene as Eva Green‘s Vesper Lynd – still feeling guilty for (sort of) betraying him – refuses to be saved from drowning by 007. Our only problem is her really odd voice. Ok, so we’re shallow – unlike her!!
8. Corinne Dufour
Film: Moonraker
Eaten by dogs. What a bitch!!
7. Max Kalba
Film: The Spy Who Loved Me
The owner of the Mojaba Club, who has taken possession of the submarine-tracking system which Bond is trying to buy, soon becomes a victim of metal-toothed henchman Jaws’ terrible crank call. He should have hung up sooner.
6. Emile Leopold Locque
Film: For Your Eyes Only
With his vehicle dangling precariously over a cliff edge, the Belgian hitman (is it us or does that not sound a bit odd to you?) is finally dispatched by a good, trusty kick
5. Oddjob
Film: Goldfinger
If you can’t beat them – electrocute them! After getting an almighty pummelling from Goldfinger’s henchman Oddjob, James Bond quickly figures out another way to get past the man monster.
4. Dryden’s contact
Film: Casino Royale
James Bond’s first kill is probably the most brutal, as he drowns him in a sink. How did he die? “Not well!”
3. Red Grant
Film: From Russia With Love
The best fight scene in Bond history ends with the Robert Shaw’s formidable SPECTRE agent getting strangled by his own garrotte. Well, that’ll teach him for ordering red wine with fish.
2. Tracy Di Vicenzo
Film: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
A truly sad moment as Mrs James Bond is gunned down by Irma Bunt and Ernst Stavro Blofeld while they set off on their honeymoon. It’s so unlike anything else in the franchise, which of course makes it stand out.
1. Jill Masterson
Film: Goldfinger
Surely, one of the most iconic images not only of the Bond franchise, but also in movie history.
Disturbing, but also quite stunning.
Melabec says
James Bond’s first kill in Casino Royale- Yes he did drown him in the sink, but that did not kill him. Bond had to shoot him a moment later when he tried to shoot Bond.
website design says
Nice list. Should have had more videos though.
Neoconkers says
No Heller? Come on! He was impaled on a forklift!
Simon says
why is professor dent from ‘dr no’ in this list. so he shot the guy, big deal – surely scaramanga’s well worked death from the man with the golden gun is better than this. or 007s death scene at the start of you only live twice (yes i know he doesnt actually die) but stilll put a bit more effort in. we bond fans dont suffer fools gladly!