There’s nothing quite like a movie monster.
No, we are not talking about Liz Hurley, Catherine Zeta Jones or Rosie O’Donnell, we are talking about hideous creatures that thrive on the weak and the unholy scent of death. Again, we are not talking about Liz Hurley, Catherine Zeta Jones or Rosie O’Donnell.
Anyway, a good movie monster can add real bite (literally) to even the most mundane films.
They can shock, terrify and even inspire highly-profitable marketing spin-offs. We just can’t get enough of them. But why? Is it because we are so sick of being at the top of the food chain? Are we really that bored? Or is just because we take great pleasure in watching a predator outwit its prey?
Truth is, how the hell should we know? Who do you think I am, David frigging Attenborough?
Anyway, in our latest excuse to write some random list, we have decided to expose the monsters with a little more bite. The creatures which really make the feature. And no we are not talking horror icons like Dracula, Freddie, Jason or Michael Myers, or just beastly humans like Hannibal. We are talking horrible, slavering beasts with a taste for human flesh.
And no, we are still not talking about Liz Hurley, Catherine Zeta Jones or Rosie O’Donnell.
Movie: Star Wars : The Return of the Jedi
A giant anus in the desert which eats you and you are digested for 1,000 years. Now that’s pretty scary.
19. Giant Claw
Sorriest-looking thing on two wings – but who cares?
Movie: Deep Rising
Pretty disgusting worms from a little gem of a horror movie.
Best Mohican we’ve ever seen.
Movies: Hellraiser series
Don’t ever play with nail guns.
15. The Thing
Movie: The Thing
Don’t fancy yours much.
Movies: Daikaijû Gamera and a few others
A giant, flying turtle that was launched in Japan as a rival to Godzilla during the 60s. Among some of his other names is ‘Friend To All Children’. We think he should keep quiet about that one.
13. The Marshmallow Man
He’s so sweet.
Movie: The Descent
Stopped us from going pot-holing again.
Movie: An American Werewolf In London
Americans?! You come over here, shag our women, take our jobs and turn into man-eating wolves.
10. Pale Man
Movie: Pan’s Labyrinth
Really quite horrible.
Movie: Jason and the Argonauts
Scared the hell out of us when we were kids.
Movie: Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
Imagine finding that in your bath.
7. Tyrannosaurus Rex
Movies: Jurassic Park series
True story – a friend of ours’ mum after watching Jurassic Park asked: ‘Dinosaurs: They are extinct, aren’t they?’ Guess the T-Rex really did push new boundaries.
Movie: The Fly
Movie: The Host
Tadpoles have never been so scary.
OK, the award should really go to the cello, but still…
3. King Kong
Movies: King Kong in its various guises
The Peter Jackson remake was good – but the 1933 original is better.
Movies: Too many to mention
Movies: Alien series
Scares the hell out of us.