So this week we’ve decided to be a little more conventional. We’ve picked a topic that everyone can get into – the sexiest movie milfs. You know, the yummy mummies who won’t let a little thing like children prevent them from exuding raw sexual power. Oh, just thinking about milfs gets us panting and howling like a 1950s cartoon wolf.
That’s why we thought we’d share our sexiest movie milfs with you. Be warned, this list is not just incredibly sexual but also comprehensive. Don’t bother arguing with it. We’re right…
10 – Sharon Stone, Casino
Sharon Stone has never been sexier than when she demonstrated her most erotic maternal instincts in Casino. We can barely even think of her, tying up her child through the ravages of a cocaine fug, without pawing at ourselves like some kind of disgusting adolescent monkey. Ring-a-ding-ding!
9 – Diane Ladd, Wild At Heart
We love it when a milf makes an effort – and that’s why the thought of Diane Ladd covered from head to toe in lipstick and vomiting into a toilet because she’d paid a man to kill her daughter’s boyfriend, gives us the horn like nothing else on Earth. Awooga!
8 – Shelly Duvall, The Shining
Oh yeah, you think she’s screaming now. Just wait until we’ve used our ‘axe’ to bust our way through her ‘wooden door’. Hubba hubba!
7 – Piper Laurie, Carrie
We wish we could menstruate, just so that Piper Laurie could bash us about with a Bible and then lock us in a cupboard. Yeah, we like it nasty-style!
6 – Anne Ramsey, Throw Momma From The Train
Yes, we know we included her in last week’s list, but there’s something about Anne Ramsey that just makes us so damn MOIST! Grr!
5 – Ruth Roman, The Baby
The heart of the milf fascination stem from a need to be looked after. And how could you possibly look after anyone any better than by repeatedly attacking them with a cattle prod and then locking them in the cupboard? Oh Ruth Roman, you’re our DREAM GIRL!
4 -Samantha Eggar – The Brood
We were thinking about putting Samantha Eggar at the top of this list, because she’s the only milf sexy enough to actually lick the blood off her own unborn foetus, but somehow we managed to find three milfs who are even sexier than her. God, but she’s sexy though.
3 – Faye Dunaway, Mommie Dearest
That wouldn’t be moisturiser all over her face after we were done with her. OH YEAH!
2 – The Queen, Aliens
We’d make her wet alright. Wet with ACID, baby!
1 – Virginia Gregg, Psycho