John Lennon once sang “Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can?” Well actually, we can’t. We love rockstars and the daft things that define them. What would Lady GaGa be without her myriad of oddball possessions? Natasha Bedingfield, that’s who… and no-one wanted her in the first place.
And so, after seeing the little commercial spots during the Brit Awards coverage, where popstars talked about what was priceless to them – in the case of Lulu, a rather dazzling sequinned jacket, or the Ting Tings giving away their first guitar and such – we got thinking about our favourite things that popstars have.
Think about Slash without a top hat or Michael Jackson without a spangly glove or monkey? They become a bit rubbish don’t they?
If you missed the Brits, and in turn, missed our astonishingly brilliant liveblog (you monsters), you won’t know what we’re talking about.
So, have a look at this advert that Mastercard popped in their coverage of the Brit Awards 2011 and have a think about which items you love that help define a popstar.
Here’s our list of favourites (which we’ll almost immediately regret because we forgot a whole bunch of ace ones)
Flava Flav’s Clock
Flava Flav isn’t the best rapper in the world. He’s not even the best rapper in Public Enemy. However, he’s the largest character in rap. If it wasn’t for his amusingly large clock, no-one would remember his name. Not least Brigitte Nielsen who bafflingly had a bit of a thing with him.
John Lennon’s Glasses
John Lennon may have imagined no possessions, but what would he be if it wasn’t for his Rickenbacker guitar, his white piano or his famous spectacles. If you see a pair of basic, round-rimmed specs, you immediately think “Lennon glasses!” They were especially useful in later years because, well, he looked stupid without them on.
Elton John’s Donald Duck Outfit
Ah. Elton John. Here’s a man who doesn’t mind owning a whole buncha stuff. The best thing he’s owned is his Donald Duck outfit which he actually wore in public. This Donald Duck get-up only just beats his wig for the top spot in our fave Elton possession.
Johnny Cash’s Entirely Black Wardrobe
The Man In Pastel Colours doesn’t have the same gravitas as Johnny Cash’s nickname, The Man In Black. His attire matched his earthy growl and often bleak subject matter in his songs. Murder, death, poverty and criminal behaviour wouldn’t really go down as well if he performed in pink slacks and a lemon yellow golfing sweater.
Arthur Brown’s Fire Hat
Arthur Brown had one hit. It was called ‘Fire’. And so, to cement him into our psyche, he set his head on fire. In the early days, scorching hot oil would run down his back while performing. Makes Justin Bieber’s stupid haircut look a bit pointless now, eh?
Elvis Presely’s Jumpsuit
Elvis, in his youth, was a devastatingly attractive chap. Look at the pictures of him in the ’68s Comeback Special in his leathers, and he’s all sex… enough to make a straight man aroused. However, the most enduring Elvis is the tubby, kung-fu one that strutted the boards of Vegas in a Nudie jumpsuit. Nudie made all the outfits for the country singers, but the caped jumpsuits that Elvis wore will always be his most famous creation.
Madonna’s Bra
Even now, after a career that has spanned millennia, Madonna is still known for her Gaultier pointy bra. If you want to go to a fancy dress party as Madge, you don’t don a purple leotard, but rather, jam two ice-creams on your chest and stick a bent straw in your hair. Easy.
Devo’s Hats
Devo would forever be forgotten as Some Arty Band if it wasn’t for their peculiar dress sense. Even McDonald’s ripped the group off with a Happy Meal toy! The Pet Shop Boys also aped Devo with weird wardrobe decisions in the ’90s.
Kiss’s Make-up Bag
Kiss are just another pedestrian stadium rock band that have two or three famous records that you recognise on a night out. However, they had a secret that saw them eclipsing other, similar bands – a make-up bag! So whether you’re done up like a cat or some weird lightning flash demi-god, the Kiss look is immediate. And brilliant.
The Bloke From Dr Hook’s Eye Patch
Seriously. He’d be a nobody if he wasn’t a cyclops.
Why not add your own in the comments and tell us how stupid we are for forgetting a whole bunch of people?
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The Grumwalds says
FAB. Love Flav’s clock. How about Dolly Parton and Phil Spector’s wigs?
Mimsy says
Michael Jackson’s sparkly glove and socks back when he was known for his dance moves instead of lawsuits.
C says
Big brother’s Kinga and her propensity for sticking wine bottles up her massive fanny!! Does that count!?
Jennie says
“Elvis, in his youth, was a devastatingly attractive chap. Look at the pictures of him in the