hecklerspray doesn’t have a Christmas tree – we have a hobo wrapped in tinsel standing in the corner of our 2nd floor lobby. We let him sit down 15 minutes every two hours, pay him in heat and he knows not to touch our vending machine buttons if he’s not at least wearing a mitten.
Seriously, that’s how diseases spread.
We’re not the only ones who celebrate an unconventional holiday. Lance Bass likes to cover his trees in some sort of spray-on ham. We made that up. Gary Coleman plays Deck the Halls on a wide variety of musical saws and cat skulls. We made that up. Tim Burton drapes his tree with dead babies.
We didn’t make that up.
Tim Burton has been dating Helena Bonham Carter for years. They have a kid together, they live next door to each other, and we even heard they have one of those tin can/string phones set up connecting the two properties. What we’re saying here is they are totally long term.
Point is – if anyone knows Burton’s weird holiday decorating tendencies, its Carter. She said:
"Tim decorates the Christmas tree with dead babies and slime balls and things. It looks lovely and glittery from afar, and then as you get closer, you realise it's rather gory.”
We don’t think anything’s wrong with that. Our kitchen is tiled entirely in dried hamsters, which really makes us feel a kinship with Burton. We’d feel more of a kinship if Winona Rider ever had a foetus cut its way out of her in an Edward Scissorhands sequel. Put down your cow intestine tinsel and hop to Burton. Let's get it out for Christmas.
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Me says
Can I point out the fact that Helena didnt mean actual dead babies.
I mean come on. She let’s her only son love with man. No sane mother is going to leave her child live with a man who puts the corpses of babies on a tree, is she? And yes, to be honest, I think this time Helena and Tin are going long term. To be fair to her, most of her relationships have been long term.
Just cause they split up eventually doesnt mean it wasn’t long term.