Tila Tequila Changes The World Using MTV

It must be great being this ‘Tila Tequila’ thing, even if we’re still not really sure who or what it really is.

For one you get a dating show on MTV all about how you’re wacky and bisexual - what ker-azyness - and then you get to tell the world you’ve single-handedly changed it, giving gay couples the rights they deserve.

It’s an audacious claim, that’s for sure.

See, this ‘Tila Tequila’ thing is claiming she/he/it was instrumental in the recent decision of the Californian government to drop its ban on gay marriage. Tequila is claiming that her TV show A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila broke down boundaries, brought people together and quashed all prejudices around the whole of the west coast state. As she said to USMagazine.com:

“It is because of me — I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement”

Not content with this simple, ridiculous claim, the spirited one went on:

“Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal.”

What we at hecklerspray don’t understand is, if it were so simple to get this change to come about, why didn’t Tequila do something earlier? Or why didn’t she inform the legions of campaigners for gay rights that there was a simple, affordable, MTV-based way in which they could achieve equality?

We’re guessing it’s because she’s full of hate, just like Katherine Heigl. Or maybe she was just too dumb to realise how much she could really make a difference in this world, taking on all comers and fighting injustice. Like a modern day Captain Planet. Except female. And less blue.

So what does this pint-sized progenitor of social change have planned next? Might we suggest she takes to the streets of Baltimore in order to redress the appalling social imbalance on display. Or she could head to a local Klan meeting and convince the morons present to change their racist ways - so long as MTV were ready to fund it, of course. But no, Tila is doing something altogether unexpected:

“I think maybe I will fall in love in Africa.”

Hopefully California will overturn its ban on marrying continents too, then.