Pop brat, Ke$ha, is one of the most blissfully unaware popstars we’ve ever had. There’s not even the vaguest trace of self-awareness about her. She’s drapes herself over the nearest solid object, giving everything the eye. She knows she looks sultry – we all think she looks drunk. Essentially, she’s that hammered divorcee pouting at teenagers in a nightclub – all the time.
And while she’s been party to some very catchy choruses, there’s something impressively dislikeable about her. She really is a repugnant little shit and manages to rile everyone up with an admirable lack of effort.
With that, would you like to see a photograph of her (allegedly) with a man poking his tongue up her front-bum?
Now, a while ago, there was a supposed picture leaked of her cupping her baps while being decorated with a man’s sputum like some kind of horrible glazed cake that had gone stale in a shop window (if you really want to see it, click here).
Well, now, she’s got something a bit more personal online – notably, her shaved vagina with a man up it.
Of course, this is a horrific reminder that people like Ke$ha have sex and if she makes sex groans anything like she sings, then we can’t even begin to imagine how annoying she must be in the sack. If she has neighbours, we’re betting that they cut their ears off with safety scissors a long time ago.
Anyway, in this ALLEGED snap of her, we see the spoilt-bratster kissing some bloke with a beard. There’s nothing too steamy about that particular picture but it exists solely to provide context and, presumably, to prepare your stomach from throwing up every meal you’ve ever eaten.
That’s because the second ALLEGED shot shows what appears to be the same man with his gob firmly planted on Ke$ha’s fanny lips.
Now, we’re not prepared to host the actual photograph in this article because we’re not keen on lowering the tone that much.
So the best we can do is provide you with a link that will no doubt disappoint you. Click here to see what is thought to be Ke$ha getting head.
We reckon her downstairs area tastes and feels exactly like pork scratchings.
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Tom J says
It’s strange how the music industry managed to transition so easily from marketing the “sexually suggestive teenager” to marketing the “dirty whoring skank teenager”. Aren’t there parent groups who exist solely to campaign against this sort of thing?
Cookie Monster says
Mof, sir, this is a great article. You crammed more than a few wonderful lines in there – and no, that is not a cocaine joke. I give it a solid four claps out of five. Ke$ha’s friend, of course, shall clap all of the way to the doctor…and…sighs for all.
Tom J, you miss the marketing aim of Ke$sha. She is of the “dirty whoring twenty-or-thirty-ish single-mother of four living in a trailor skank” marketing trend (they just call it DWTOTISMOFLIATS on Madison Ave). It targets a different, but overlapping, demographic as it is fueled by marketing gurus on crack, not cocaine. Yes, mainstream pop has noticed what rap pop has been up to; sneaky rappers and their rap videos…dial me a talentless whore, now! I may have invoked a few stereotypes there. Carrying on with the whoring…
What I marvel at is how they managed, and endlessly milked, the “clean whoring [etc]”. That lead to a celebrity trailor-park femme fatale melt-down in spectacular fashion, and everyone was all the happier as it has played-out. Blending “dirty” with “whoring” is child’s play, and a bit lazy; blending “clean” with “whoring”, that is something else. As an example, reference the Britney versus Christina versus Justin bit of Disney offspring at large. Note that talent, from a musical perspective, is not a factor. It is about performance, in one way or the other.
The parents (yes, I know you were being cheeky; I hope I’m using that word correctly; it’s like tongue-in-cheek with some brazen tones, yeah?) checked-out when they had kids, and they checked-out with their own experience in-hand. Britney fans are old-ish-er now, Ke$sha fans are a new, virgin, untapped, and unmollested (though shaped) market. The ante is upped each time the bet comes around. Other than the extreme-right folks, that equals more overt sexual tones; the tolerance keeps slipping – or at least moving. Janet Jackson’s armoured nipple wouldn’t generate a blink, let alone international headlines.
As a final note, let us watch the latest batch of marketing and PR nonsense. I believe that Miley Cyrus shall lead the charge. Hannah Montana will be next… wait, hold it… OMG!
Damn, this did start as a two-sentence reply…there is glitter on my cookie.