The bloke who used to be the drummer in The Libertines (no-one cares what his name is) is hoping that a new Libertines film called There Are No Innocent Bystanders will allow people see the band in a different light.
Of course, any right minded person will find out when the screenings are for this film and do us all a massive favour and burn down the screens and everyone in there, who have decided to watch this document of the world’s biggest?syphilitic nincompoops.
If there’s one thing worse than Pete Doherty & Co, its the awful, awful, awful fans.
The Libertines drummer – Ringo or something – said:
“It’s a bit of a love letter to the fans, but it will hopefully give people more of an understanding of what it means to be a Libertine and our group dynamics. When you say ‘Libertine’, a lot of people immediately think of Pete Doherty, drug-taking and Kate Moss instead of thinking of the music, and the camaraderie between us and the fans.”
“The biggest misconception is that we’re all a bunch of scally drug-taking idiots who are talentless and have no real love of music.”
Aw, Ringo! That’s not true! The biggest misconception was that people wanted The Libertines to NOT die in a horrible chip-pan fire.
Fact is, The Libertines were a despairingly beige, weak-wristed band of tuneless brats who were followed around by moldy-lunged fans with their roll-ups, rotting teeth, lifestyle tourism tattoos, faux-suicidal hipsterisms and, of course, a collection of truly terrible Libertines tattoos which were paid for by themselves in a bid to appear like the kind of person who actually met the band and got themselves ‘branded’ after a cod-guerrilla gig.
Either way, should absolutely everyone involved with this tawdry excuse for a band, die, no-one will really mind.
No. Honestly. We’re not even joking now.
POP FAN says
Muff – You’re probably too young or too stupid to fully understand the seismic impact The Libertines had on an the ailing music scene of two thousand and whatever the fuck it was. Back then it was all twee birds in cardigans with a rudimentary grasp of GarageBand, so called ‘Outsider’ artists like Richard Whiteley and shite as houses death metal like Claxon Knutz and Shaft Twat.
Yep, the time was right for four fuckable ne’er-do-wells (look, I’m as straight as they come but I’d do the lot of ’em RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW,RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES YES SIREEE) to give the then excuse for a music scene a good seeing to, then wipe their dripping SCHLONG on the nearest curtain and bellow ‘WHO’S NEXT?! YOU UPPITY SLAAAAAAGS’
in short (pay attention at the back, that includes you, Miff) The Libertines brought sex back to SCENE, left us horny as hell, rubbing our genitals red raw. ROCK N ROLL WAS HERE TO STAY. Anyway, I can’t be bothered writing any more of this shit, typing on an IPhone is fiddly as fuck and I’m getting off my tram in a minute. BONER.
E says
You missed out on an amazing time in brit music.
minime says
what a squalid weak site this is
spiceweasel says
POPFAN: Your use of the phrase: “ROCK N ROLL WAS HERE TO STAY” is baffling. You realise this article was about the Libertines??
Your definition of “ROCK N ROLL” must be “dreary, NME-favoured-middle-of-the-road-psuedo-indie shite for middle class sixth formers rebelling against their upbringing in Oxford.”
And by the way: that “genitals red raw” comment? I’d say the redness was probably caused by being within fifty feet of that absolutely talentless manky bastard Pete Doherty.
When Pete Doherty inevitably OD’s London will become 20% cleaner as a city.
gilbert wham says
I didn’t, I was off me tits dancing to filthy acid techno at squat parties and dingy nightclubs. Prior to which, I was stage-diving at punk gigs. I did, however, miss the Libertines, which was no great loss.