How disappointing was The Human Centipede? Very, that’s what. It wasn’t even funny bad. It was just a marvellously disgusting idea executed badly. It was a veritable snoozefest that was watched by a million people illegally online just to see what the fuss was about.
At least Child’s Play managed to create some real life murderers.
And that’s the schtick for The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence). And you can see the trailer for it over the jump. Again, it looks like it’ll make you puke, but we’ll reserve judgement ’til we’ve actually sat down and watched it.
The story of the new films follows a bug-eyed Northern Englishman (definitely from Yorkshire where the most psychotic, depraved lunatics hail from) who gets the horn (or, if you prefer, becomes sexually obsessed) with his DVD of the first Human Centipede film.
Loser.
Apparently, he uses sandpaper to pleasure himself whilst watching the film. Sounds like a laugh doesn’t it?
He then, of course, decides to create a human centipede of his own. However, he’s not mucking about as he wants to create one comprised of twelve victims as opposed to the first film’s lame-ass three.
You’ll be thrilled to learn that this gets him all excited and he takes great sexual pleasure in watching the victims of the centipede defecate in each other’s mouths.
Ticking all the OOOH, LET’S SHOCK EVERYONE! boxes, eh?
Oh, before we forget, there’s a cheery sign-off involving barbed wire, his member and… shall we say… something of an assault on the lady who is at the rear of the centipede.
Happy, happy… joy, joy.
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Si Sharp says
I honestly thought that was an internet parody without a punchline. I actually checked the reviews on rotten tomatoes to confirm.
mixed martial arts fighting says
Apparently, he uses sandpaper to pleasure himself whilst watching the film.