It is so hard to make our hair look this good. But with the help of LA Looks extra smooth hair sculpting gel, we always seem to make it happen.
Of course, we don't even start our hair until we've had a nutritious breakfast consisting exclusively of Hillshire Farms crispy bacon, Thomas' golden brown english muffins and a tongue-tattoo Fruit Roll up (which has 6 essential vitamins & minerals). Yes, we certainly eat all that food every single day, and we shutter to think of our lives without such outstanding name brands.
Now moving on to today's topic, Teri Hatcher endorses some products too. She gets paid millions of dollars to say she uses such and such, but the trick is her paycheck apparently depends on her actually using those products. Hydroderm, for instance, wanted to be the only goo Hatcher ever injected into her lips. Then when they weren't looking she went and used Crisco or something, which is funny because Crisco isn't actually a lip filler – it has far too many other delicious uses!
Like cookies!
Teri Hatcher sold her lips to Hydroderm. She thought it was a good idea at first, but soon realized she was disgusting with just gums and teeth on the front of her head. Also, Hydroderm took piss-poor care of her lips while they had them in their possession. The smackers got all chapped and didn't even get dipped in gloss that often.
Eventually Hatcher had enough. She got a crack team of Columbian surgeons to reattach her tooth covers as well as they could, but as with any body part, when detached long enough, the lips withered. Then, of course, Hatcher had to fill them with something. Maybe we should clarify and say all this is speculation on our part. We've looked into the case thoroughly, we've pieced the puzzle together and best we can tell, this is how Hatcher's current lip fiasco went down.
The only thing we know for sure is she was under contract to only inject her lips with synthetic ooze made by Hydroderm, but she went and filled them full of synthetic ooze made by City Cosmetics. Her contract holders are mad. They explain why in a court document:
"To generate sales and increase its name recognition" Hydroderm sought to contract with a prominent public figure to provide exclusive endorsement services on behalf of Hydroderm. Hydroderm considered several well-known and attractive actresses. Hydroderm chose, however, to pursue an exclusive relationship with Hatcher based, in large part, on the fact that Defendants represented that Hatcher was not currently Endorsing any competing skin care products and promised that she would not do so in the future."
Mad, right? They're not done:
"Defendants, however, failed to abide by the terms of the Agreement and, in fact, materially breached the terms of the Agreement. These material breaches occurred because defendants authorized and permitted the use of, inter alla, Hatcher's name, voice, image, likeness and other endorsernent to directly and indirectly promote, endorse, market and advertise competing skin care products."
Hydroderm is sooooo pissed at Hatch. If they looked into her background maybe they wouldn't be in this predicament. If they'd checked they'd know she definitely never slept with loads of guys in the back of a van, but some people said she did anyway, they'd know her face may or may not be marred from a light bulb explosion and they'd know she's probably not famous enough to move much product anyway.
You messed up Hydroderm. You really messed up – but we can fix it. hecklerspray is willing to give you Annette Hyde, our 62 year old college intern. Feel free to inject her face with whatever you like. She can take it. We once sewed an entire chicken foot under her neck skin and it didn't get infected for a week.
Enticed? Now lets talk price…
Read More:
Cosmetic Company Sues Teri Hatcher For $2.8 Million – Access Hollywood