Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company’s decision to move the new Harry Potter film to next summer has prompted Sony to push the upcoming James Bond flick – the one with the funny name – back.

Alright, so it’s only a week, with the film being pushed from November 7th to the 14th, but still – come on. Give us a break here.

The reason for the move was given as a simple one: ‘we want more money’. Technically not what they actually said, but ‘moving it closer to the Thanksgiving/Christmas market’ is pretty transparent when it comes to reasoning.

While we do wish we could live in a world where money wasn’t such a driving factor, where advertising wasn’t so rampantly killing off the reputations of entertainers and where focus groups didn’t decide what we could watch and when… well, we don’t. Which means you have to wait an extra week to see Quantum of Solace in the US.

We don’t, mind, as we’re in Britain. We still get the thing on October 31st, which makes us a great deal better than you, our wonderful trans-Atlantic chums. In your face! It also shows that the film isn’t being pushed back because of any kind of curse that may be going around, which is nice.

Speaking to Variety, the Sony chairman of something and something else blah distribution world said:

“We believe Nov. 14 is a great date that allows us to play straight through Thanksgiving and right into Christmas. We believe this decision will give the public a wider opportunity to see the film over the holiday.”

Like we said – it’s pretty transparent in the reasoning, but they still try and hide the fact that the decision was made for more delicious, life-giving money. Instead, it’s put as being for your benefit. Bless them – they really do care about you*.

Nevertheless, the wait for Jimmy Bond’s latest outing is sure to be worth it, with the trailer making it out to be one long fight. We’re not complaining – two hours of brawling is something hecklerspray would pay good money to see, along with paying $250 for other activities.

To make the wait that little bit easier, check out the official song to Quantum of Solace – far better than this poorly-thought-out effort by two relative unknowns – as provided by the world-renowned composer Joe Cornish**:

It certainly works better than the original teaser.

*They don’t care about you.

** This is all a lie. It is not the official song. He is a British comedian.

The way he went about this was to go on stage and get his penis out. It’s a classic technique, and one we’ve surely all practiced at some point in our lives. If we have the necessary equipment, of course.

But what happens when you’re pottering about (PUN!) getting your bits out on stage around the same time that the new chapter in a kids film, in which you star, is coming out? Well, kids, Harry Potter 6 gets pushed back eight months, if the wild, rampant and ker-azy speculation is to be believed.

Yes kids – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince isn’t coming out because of Daniel Radcliffe’s penis. That is one of the greatest sentences we’ve ever had to write, even if it isn’t actually definitely true.

It would appear to be a tale of tail that rings somewhere in the realms of believability, with the original release date for the new Potter film falling smack-dab in the middle of Radcliffe’s run on stage in Equus. Which is, of course, the stage play in which he gets his knob out and has sex.

While it probably isn’t a proper porno – we don’t want to say for definite, we haven’t seen it – it still doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that Warner Bros. would want to associate with the actor on Harry Potter’s release. So it would make sense that this the reason why the film has been put back.

That is along, of course, with the ridiculous money-grabbing notions of the company, who clearly know they can get more money from a summertime cinema release when the kids are off school, bored and parents don’t want to be endlessly pestered so they’ll give them anything – even money for the cinema – to shut them up. The crafty studio berks.

So basically, Harry Potter fans are being shafted non-stop with all these reasons as to why they have to wait for the next installment of the kids film-cum-thing that grown idiots love. Just as there’s some horse-shafting in Daniel Radcliffe’s play. Doesn’t it just make you angry?

At least it means the armies of insane Potter fans have somewhere tangible to aim their anger – right in the face of Radcliffe, though to be honest it’s not really his fault. But we do like to blame people, so let’s all go and burn down his house.

Actually, don’t go burn down his house. We don’t want him running naked through the streets, and that would probably push the release of the film back even further.

But, of course, the main reason for the delay is still clearly money, and it’s one that should make the most ardent fans awaiting Harry Potter 6 want to vomit fire in the faces of the studio execs that made the decision. So, yes – go and do that. That would be something funny to fill hecklerspray’s day.