One of the best things about being a mediocre actress, singer and reality TV star with a hunger for fame that far exceeds your talent is that eventually the only option left to you is public nudity.

And that appears to be the case with Jessica Simpson. With a straight-to-DVD box office dud stinking up her CV, Jessica Simpson has decided that the only way she's ever going to win an Oscar is if she gets naked. Somewhat surprisingly, though, Jessica Simpson thinks she can achieve this by getting naked in a film, as opposed to the more logical tactic of getting naked, crawling on her hands and knees to the home of every single member of the Academy, capitulating to every one of their humiliatingly deviant sexual whims and then paying them a million dollars each for the pleasure. We get the impression that Jessica Simpson would be more likely to get an Oscar if she did all of those things.