A whole hour of Jay Leno telling reheated 12-year-old Bill Clinton jokes at a time that even allows the elderly to be somewhat nonplussed by it? Brilliant! But what’s the show going to be like?

Well, according to Jay Leno himself, it’ll be just like his old show but with more ’stunts’. And stunt number one? Seeing how quickly he can send Conan O’Brien into the depths of gibbering impotent psychosis. We imagine.

Depending on who you ask, NBC’s decision to give Jay Leno a new show at 10pm every weekday is either genius or utter madness. The naysayers are claiming that NBC broadcasting three near-solid hours of talkshow each night is too much, that it shows the network is turning its back on quality primetime television and that if Jay Leno wasn’t even funny at midnight when most Americans are drifting of into a pharmaceutically-assisted sleep, then he’ll be even less funny at 10, when most Americans are getting drunk and beating their wives.

But these people are wrong. The new Jay Leno show is going to be a success. A horrible, horrible success. Even if it fails it’ll still be a success. Compared to a big drama series like, say, Law And Order, an hour of Jay Leno babbling about cars and holding up pictures of unfunny news stories will be so cheap that it’ll still be more profitable even if nobody watches it.

What’s more, with its winning talkshow line-up of Leno, Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon, NBC will be able to offer its viewers three different takes on the day’s news – the gentle mainstream one from Jay, the smarter, more sophisticated one from Conan and one jittery, pretend-nervous one that isn’t remotely funny and gets delivered by a person that most people would like to punch in the mouth.

But, aside from being cheap – and the source of Conan O’Brien’s lingering resentment for many years to come – what’s the new Jay Leno show even going to be like? Luckily Jay Leno himself has been on hand to tell TV Week:

“‘The Tonight Show’ belongs to Conan O’Brien now. So the desk, the format … it will be a little bit different. It’s really based on what do people like and not like. I’ve been keeping notes for 17 years. I’m not going to suddenly start doing modern interpretive dance. I like to stand up and tell jokes.”

You hear that? Jay Leno’s new show will be completely different to The Tonight Show – yes, there’ll be a monologue and some celebrity guests and stunts and topical jokes and whatnot, but it’ll be called The Tonite Show instead of The Tonight Show which, as any fool can see, is completely different.

But still, are we the only ones who see a flaw in this plan? Jay Leno says the show is going to be ‘based on what do people like and not like’ – but, since it’s a show that’s got Jay Leno in it, our guess is that it’s going to veer more heavily to the ‘not like’ side.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

But that was never actually going to be the case. There’s such a dearth of middle-aged male millionaires who aren’t as funny as they think they are on TV right now that Jay Leno was never going to stay retired for long.

And now we know what Jay Leno’s next show will be – it’s his old show, basically – on the same network, in the same studio and broadcast 90 minutes earlier so even more people can get contaminated by watch it.

It’s fair to say that there are two types of people in the world – the type that finds Jay Leno funny and the type that’s medically allowed to operate heavy machinery.

However, you can’t deny Jay Leno’s popularity – whether it’s because he’s been the voice that lulls America to sleep with slightly rubbish jokes and interviews so bland that they may as well be conducted by a knitted frog in a hat for 15 years, or whether it’s because people love watching middle-aged men make blusteringly inappropriate gay jokes to minor actors, Jay Leno is inexplicably beloved by millions of weirdos.

And that causes a problem for NBC. Years ago Jay Leno decided that he was going to retire from The Tonight Show in 2009, so NBC quickly moved in and made sure that they signed up Conan O’Brien to take his place. But then as 2009 got closer, Jay Leno got ants in his pants and decided that maybe he wanted to stay, but he couldn’t stay, and all the other TV networks were like “Hey, come join us!” and Jay Leno started spinning around in a daze and took out six storefront windows with his giant chin because he was so disorientated. Figuratively.

But now the problem has finally been solved. Jay Leno has announced his new show, and it’ll come as good news to anyone who liked his old show. Because, well, it is his old show. But here’s the thing – it’s going to be broadcast at 10pm instead of 11:35pm. The New York Times reports:

The new show, which will begin next fall, is expected to be set in Mr. Leno’s longtime studio in Burbank, Calif. Mr. Leno is expected to retain many of the most popular elements of his “Tonight Show,” including his monologue and bits like “Headlines” and “Jay Walking.” One “Tonight Show” staff member said the new program would not be a variety show.

Theoretically this could be a winner for NBC. Jay Leno is a much-loved performer who’ll be exposed to an earlier timeslot – and therefore a much bigger audience – with his new show. This could mean he’d get the jump on all the big-name guests, leaving the late-night talkshows to blunder through interviews with reality TV stars and authors of books about amusing rock formations.

There are downsides to this gamble too, though – by putting his show on at 10pm five times a week, Jay Leno’s competition stops being David Letterman and starts being CSI and Without A Trace and other wildly popular police dramas that he’ll have trouble keeping up with.

Plus, putting Jay Leno on at 10pm means that NBC is giving over three hours of every day to three different versions of the exact same formula. Not only is 15 hours a week of chat massive overkill, but it’s going to make people resent poor Jimmy Fallon more than they already do, if that’s even possible.

Finally, though – and this is the biggest downside of all – how long will it be before America discovers that it only found Jay Leno funny when it was drowsy and on the verge of sleep? We’re going to hazard a guess here – it’ll be about 12 seconds.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

Back in the old days Lil’ Kim could usually be relied on to cause a ruckus by lying about shootings and getting sent to jail for it or whatnot but, now that she’s a little bit older, Lil’ Kim seems to have taken her eye off the balls. Sure, Lil’ Kim still gets in trouble, but only for not delivering albums she’s been paid to make.

As such, Lil’ Kim is being sued by her record label. Although a little lawsuit might not seem like much, it’s actually an indication of something far far worse than any of us could have ever imagined – there are a handful of people on earth who actually want to hear a new Lil’ Kim album. We’re scared. Hold us.

Ever since she had a year in jail after being found guilty of conspiracy and perjury, Lil’ Kim has pretty much kept herself to herself. But don’t think that her legacy has diminished any – her music is still used by millions as a silky smooth lovemaking soundtrack. In fact, if we had a pound for every baby that was conceived to Lil’ Kim songs like Shut Up Bitch or Suck My Dick or Fuck You, then we’d have quite a hefty donation to give to that charity for children with really angry parents.

But just because she’s had a few years of downtime, it doesn’t mean that Lil’ Kim hasn’t been busy. She has. Lil’ Kim has been fantastically busy not doing stuff that she’s been paid to do, and that can take a lot out of a girl. Back in July Lil’ Kim was sued for failing to submit the manuscript for her autobiography that she’d been paid $40,000 to write.

And, while we don’t think we’ll ever get over not being able to read an autobiography by a woman we barely even remember exists most of the time, that’s not the end of Lil’ Kim’s problems. Apparently she’s also failed to finish an album she’s been given ages to make, as People reports:

In a lawsuit filed earlier this week, record label Brookland Media claims the Grammy-winner hasn’t delivered the tracks she promised after the company spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on recordings and equipment. The label also claims it spent $12,000 per month to rent a house near Lil’ Kim’s New Jersey home.

Hopefully this lawsuit can be worked out without it becoming too serious on either side. We expect that Lil’ Kim hasn’t finished the album because she’s just suffering from a touch of writer’s block at the moment.

After all, when you’ve had a career as long as Lil’ Kim’s, it has to be hard to think up new offensively blunt sexual song titles without repeating yourself. So, in our role as unofficial and unappointed Lil’ Kim lawsuit mediators, here’s a handful of song titles that Lil’ Kim is welcome to use for her new album:

* Queef In Ya Mouf

* Look At My Tits

* Pussy Like A Large Hadron Collider

* O Do B Kwyit

* I Like Sex

* Pot Noodle Clodge

* Give Me Your Dick, Actually Give It To Me, Saw It Off With A Hacksaw Now And Give It To Me Or You’ll Never See Your Family Again

* Acorn Of Bum

Yes, that’s right – Britney Spears has got a new album coming out soon. According to a just-released missive from her record label, Britney Spears’ new album is to be called Circus and will be released on December 2, with a new single entitled Womanizer coming out next week.

It’s exciting stuff, but why has Britney Spears chosen to call her new album Circus? Well it’s easy – Britney Spears wanted to name her album after the best description for the inside of her own head. Other contenders for the album title were Swirling Kaleidoscope Of Terrifying Cackles, The Theme-Tune To Taxi On An Unrelenting Loop and Barely-Pulsating Gloop.

Britney Spears is now in something of a privileged position when it comes to releasing albums. When her last album Blackout was released, Britney Spears basically promoted it by smearing dog poo on a dress and mumbling three words to Ryan Seacrest and nothing else.

What that means is that however Britney Spears chooses to promote her new album Circus, it’s going to be seen as a dazzling comeback on the scale of her triumphant MTV VMAs appearance last week where Britney Spears looked terrified and vague and wasn’t allowed to speak for more than half a second at a time in case she went berserk but at least did it wearing quite a nice dress.

Oh, yeah. Circus. Did we mention that Britney Spears has got a new album coming out called Circus? And it’s being released in December? And a new single is exactly one week away? We did? Well here’s the information we’ve just been emailed by Britney’s record label Jive:

Britney Spears announces her sixth studio album, Circus, set for release December 2nd. The first single from the album is titled “Womanizer” and was produced by the up-and-coming Atlanta production team The Outsyders. The album release date coincides with Spears’ birthday. Jive Records is preparing her latest album, Circus, a follow-up to her critically well received album, Blackout. For her latest effort, Britney has enlisted a stellar group of established producers/writers that include Dr. Luke (who wrote and produced the album’s title track, “Circus”), Danja, Max Martin, Bloodshy & Avant and Guy Sigsworth (Madonna, Alanis Morissette, Bjork).

That all looks as if it’s in working order. Max Martin’s back working for Britney Spears again, which is a positive sign. Well, not a positive sign as such, but at least a sign that Britney’s making a return to the kind of infectious pop that was fashionable a decade ago. And, compared to Blackout, where Britney Spears tried to rip-off Justin Timberlake’s last album and ended up sounding like a horrible mixture between a paper jam and a dial-up modem from 1997, that can only make the fans happy.

But still. Circus. Really, Britney? Circus? Apparently Circus is named after her life since the release of Blackout, but we’d tend to disagree on the basis that no circus we’ve ever been to has ever featured a bald red-eyed woman sitting on a pavement bawling for her life because she’s mentally ill and the authorities have taken her kids away from her. Jugglers, yes, but not that.

If Britney Spears really wanted to name her album after what her life has been like recently, she should have forgotten about Circus and called it Bleak East-European Arthouse Movie About The Unending Futility Of Existence.

Anyway, we’ll just have to wait and see what Circus by Britney Spears is like, but fingers crossed that it’s a return to form. Especially because if it’s a real success Britney will end up releasing a fragrance also called Circus, and we’d quite like it the army of idiots who normally buy Britney Spears fragrances all ended up stinking of monkey shit and gypsies.

Better still, they want that album to feature the guitarist, the bassist and the dead drummer’s son with no singer in sight, right? Because nothing rocks harder than an album of instrumentals containing lengthy bass solos as performed by some painfully old men. Right?

Good, because that seems to be what Led Zeppelin are cooking up. It must be true, because the dead drummer’s son said so.

When Led Zeppelin reformed at the O2 stadium last year, some people got a little bit excited. It was just like the old days, they said, except that the member of the band seemed to be aging faster than the Nazi at the end of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. It was like The Beatles reforming, they said, but only if someone had shot Ringo instead of John Lennon.

Following their show, Led Zeppelin could have toured the world a hundred times over and got rich enough to shove ten mudsharks up the fannies of every woman on the planet. But it wasn’t to be, because Robert Plant wanted to tour his fiddle-di-dee country album instead.

Maybe Led Leppelin will go on tour at some point, but don’t worry because Jimmy Page apparently has a two-part interim plan that goes as follows:

1) Introduce the British Olympics to the world by playing Whole Lotta Love with a girl off a talent show while pulling a face that makes it look as you’re being sucked off by a giant snail.

2) Record a new Led Zeppelin album.

Since part one has already been dealt with – and by the way, great job Jimmy, you really pulled off the facial expression part perfectly – that just leaves part two. Which is really happening. Or might be happening. Look, it probably isn’t happening, but don’t tell Jason Bonham because it looks as though he’s got his heart set on it. According to BBC News:

Led Zeppelin musicians Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham have been working on new material. Drummer Bonham told a radio station in Detroit that the songs could be destined for a new Led Zeppelin album. But lead singer Robert Plant has not been involved in any of the sessions, he added… “When I get there [in the studio] I never ask any questions. If I get a phone call to go and play, I enjoy every moment of it.”

Great, so there might be a new Led Zeppelin album coming out, but there probably won’t be and even if there is it won’t have Robert Plant wailing about Mordor all over it. That sounds excellent. No, really.

But listen. If this album is really happening, it’s incredibly important that you get Robert Plant back in the fold. Because otherwise you’ll have to find another singer to take his place. And you know who’s interested? Paolo Nutini.

No, we didn’t think you’d want that either.

Not only do you have to make sure the drums are synchronised just right with the rhythm guitar, but you have to keep firing your entire band every time one of them plays a note that will make your brand-new 14-year-old album less than classic. Also, you can get vital nutrient-sucking worms if you decide to record in South America.

Axl Rose is all too aware of this – that’s why his album still isn’t coming out. A new song is though – on a video game. The good news is it’s new GNR, the bad news is the only way you’ll be able to actually hear it is when your dad fancies himself a frontman whenever his brother comes over.

Excruciating.

A new Guns N’ Roses song is going to be included on the forthcoming Rock Band 2 video game. It’s called Shackler’s Revenge, and although it hasn’t leaked to date, a few years ago one called There Was A Time did – it’s so good it makes us want to get fat and wear bandannas. Go on and Google it.

Rumor has it this Shackler’s Revenge song was inspired by Pirates Of The Caribbean 2, which Rose is said to own the director’s cut in both DVD & Blu Ray formats. There’s an entire verse dedicated to Johnny Depp getting eaten by an octopus. We heard it details Depp’s succession through the monsters digestive tract. A sample line is:

“now your [sic] in it’s tummy because you tasted so yummy, now your [sic] in the intestine, better not be a pest in (there).”

Well at least it rhymes, right? Needless to say it’s a far cry from people being in jungles with babies and what-not. Also it’s a far cry from true.

According to GNR’s own website:

“Get Ready for Shackler’s Revenge. The track from the upcoming Guns N’ Roses album Chinese Democracy will appear on the video game Rock Band 2, slated for release for the Xbox 360 platform in September.”

Still no word as to a solid release date, but if it ends up being in 2008 everybody in the US will get a Dr. Pepper. Throw in some Twizzlers and a fruit pie and maybe we can get that guy moving.

Lindsay Lohan is determined to pursue her music career, according to The Daily Telegraph (of Australia), with Kylie's and Rihanna's back catalogue the inspiration behind her new record. Lohan said:

"I want it to be dance. I want it to be kind of Kylie Minogue meets Rihanna. I hope to tour with it and I hope to really promote it. I've already done three songs. I'm doing my third in New York, actually."

Now, although you may be thinking that it would be a pointless task traveling to New York to finish a song she’s just told us she’s already finished, don’t have a go at her. How about you just put your cynical self to the side for just one moment and wish her all the best? Why not spread a bit of love for a change?

Would you take the piss out of Steven Hawking if he tried to stand up by himself? No, you wouldn’t, so why take the piss out of Lindsay trying to sing? 

Upon being asked as to whether any of her new songs would reflect the troubles of her past year, Lohan said:

"I'm not sure yet, I don't know if I really want to (reflect on them). I think the past is the past and it should be kept there. It's a new slate for me and I want to show that in my new record."

And that’s her prerogative, guys. Shame though, because we were all looking forward to such classics as 'Woke up this morning saw my chuff in the paper’, ‘They told me to go to rehab, I said sure, sure, sure’ and ‘Like A Virgin, Touched For The 5,000th time’.

That’s all well and good and hilarious, but it’s also quite cruel when you think about it. Just like it was when reports of a sex video starring her were leaked on the internet. How would you feel if a grainy image of you eating Callum Best’s dirty fudgestick was circling the internet? The humiliation would surely be enough to drive you to stupidity too.

So let's all forget about how rubbish she is at most things, and try focusing on the positive aspects.

Feel free to point them out below.

Read more – Lindsay wants to be Kylie – The Daily Telegraph

Using our always dead-on powers of deduction, we've been able to work out that this means Madonna is ditching her purple leotard for Hard Candy to either dress up as an unnerving sweet-shop lady or she'll base her look on that film where Juno tries to cut a paedophile's balls off.

What's that? Pharrell has produced much of Hard Candy for Madonna and it features several guest spots by Justin Timberlake? Well in that case we're completely wrong – Madonna's new look will be that of a 50-year-old woman at a nightclub desperately trying to look three decades younger than she actually is and fooling nobody. So no real change, then.

Even though she's older than time itself – which is possibly why she maintains that she knows Jesus – it's still a big thing when Madonna releases a new album. It's been like this for years – when Madonna released Ray Of Light everyone was excited about her return to the cutting edge. With American Life, everyone was excited about seeing Madonna dress up as a soldier and rhyme 'Mini Cooper' with 'Super duper'. With Confessions On A Dance Floor, everyone was excited to see Madonna strip down to a gruesome leotard and show off her vagin… no no no, that didn't happen at all.

And now it's time for Madonna to release a brand new album. It'll be her last album for Warner Brothers before she ticks over to her $120 million Live Nation contract, and it'll be the last album she releases before she turns 50. Madonna's facial skin already looks like it's been winched back to ripping point in preparation for the album, which means all that's left is for Madonna to give the sodding thing a name.

And that's what she's done – the new Madonna album will be called Hard Candy.

Hard Candy? But what could it mean? As we implied earlier, Hard Candy is also the name of a movie starring Ellen Page, so perhaps this is Madonna's attempt to do what Jay-Z did with American Gangster and release an album inspired by a movie. But since we can't see any songs on Hard Candy called I'll Slice Your Testicles Off or Hang Yourself, Paedophile Scum, we'll have to assume that this isn't true. 

Or perhaps Madonna has decided to embark on a tactic of naming albums after food that she has trouble eating in her advanced years, in which case we can expect her next album to either be called Crusty Baguette or Anything That Hasn't Been Mashed Into A Paste Beforehand. But, again, that looks unlikely. So here's Madonna's long-time spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg with the real explanation being Hard Candy's title:

"She loves candy. It’s about the juxtaposition of tough and sweetness, or as Madonna so eloquently expressed, 'I’m gonna kick your ass, but it’s going to make you feel good.'"

She loves candy, so she called the album Hard Candy. Worth noting that she didn't call the album Hard Guy Ritchie, which obviously means that she doesn't love her own husband but that's OK because the mental image that Hard Guy Ritchie has conjured up has already taken us to the very brink of suicide.

We can't help thinking that Madonna's really shot herself in the foot with Hard Candy – due for release in April and preceded by single Four Minutes next month – because when she takes it on the road she'll find that it's especially difficult to offend an entire religion with an album named after some confectionery. And who'll go and see a concert where Madonna doesn't enrage a deity? She's done for.

Read more:

New Madonna album called Hard Candy – Marie Claire 

By writing the final Harry Potter book at some point over the last 12 months, JK Rowling scored herself a runner-up spot on the Time Person of The Year List – she would have come first if it wasn't for that bloody Vladimir Putin – and that seems to have made her wonder out loud about writing another Harry Potter book. Don't get too excited, though, because the new Harry Potter book is at least a decade away – coming after the final Harry Potter movie, the opening of the Harry Potter theme park, the Harry Potter On Ice tour and the vastly unsuccessful Harry Potter Sings Julio Iglesias CD of Spanish language seduction ballads planned for March 2014.

If 2007 was the year that JK Rowling put an end to Harry Potter – finally publishing the last Harry Potter book Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – then 2008 will be the year that JK Rowling forgets about Harry Potter completely and moves on with her life, only limiting her mentions of Harry Potter to the times that she opens her mouth, writes stuff down or thinks about anything at all.

And it'll be a busy year for JK Rowling, because she's got several balls to juggle. There's her first adult novel to write, and some kind of 'political fairy tale' as well – plus Rowling needs to find adequate time to strut around her country-sized mansion in a dress made out of knitted rubies eating money sandwiches and pooing coins – but mainly she has to keep alluding to another Harry Potter book like some sort of awful tease.

After coming third in the Time Person Of The Year List – don't get jealous, you won it last year – JK Rowling has decided to announce her vague intentions to possibly write another Harry Potter book eventually if she feels like it and enough people want to read it. Speaking to Time, Rowling said:

"There have been times since finishing, weak moments, when I've said: 'Yeah, all right' to the eighth novel. If, and it's a big if, I ever write an eighth book about the (wizarding) world, I doubt that Harry would be the central character. I feel I've already told his story. But these are big ifs. Let's give it 10 years."

A Harry Potter book that isn't about Harry Potter? Surely not. So who could this new Harry Potter book be about? Not Dobby or Snape or Dumbledore or the owl or one of the Weasley twins or Voldemort because they're all dead. By our estimations, that means the new book will either be about the married adventures of Hermione and Ron, some sort of ghastly Son Of Harry Potter next-generation affair or a thousand-page book all about the zany adventures of that big moving painting of Dawn French from the third Harry Potter film.

You know what this means though – it means that everyone who signed that petition for more Harry Potter books last summer has been heard. We have a voice! Maybe now that we've convinced JK Rowling to write another Harry Potter book we can all gang up and try to convince another billionaire to earn more multi-million windfalls by cynically returning to franchises they promised us were dead because nothing they've done since has even been remotely successful in comparison. People power! Woo!

Read more:

Rowling 'may pen eighth Harry book' – Press Association

If that's the case, well, we don't want you to get too excited here, but it looks like Rosie O'Donnell is going to be given her own show on MSNBC. It's early days yet, but rumour has it that Rosie O'Donnell is in negotiations to bounce back after her high-profile resignation from The View with a daily prime-time TV show where she'll be in direct competition with Larry King. Nothing's been confirmed yet, but it's thought that Rosie O'Donnell has already drawn up a shortlist of potential titles for her show, including I Hate Everything, Outta My Way Assholes and Has Anyone Else Noticed That Elisabeth Hasselbeck Doesn't Have Her Own Show? She Doesn't, I Checked. 

Although the ongoing American writer-strike looks set to tear the world of television apart, the truth is it hasn't been in great shape for a while. And we pin that firmly on the terrible state of daytime TV lesbians. What are daytime TV lesbians doing these days? Crying about bloody puppies, that's what. That's not what we want from daytime TV lesbians – if our daytime TV lesbians have been wronged by a puppy adoption agency we don't want them to cry, we want them to kill a larger animal each day and leave it on the adoption agency's doorstep until either a) the situation gets amended or b) the animal workers have to clear piles of dead pterodactyls from their front garden.

And, let's not kid ourselves, that's what Rosie O'Donnell would have done. Because when she was on The View, that's the sort of behaviour that Rosie O'Donnell did best. Starting fights with Donald Trump, calling everyone homophobes, goading Danny DeVito on to be more drunk, offending the entire population of the biggest country in the world and screaming outraged insults at anyone with a slightly differing viewpoint to her own, Rosie O'Donnell was The View.

But since her screeching split-screen showdown with right-wing idiot Elisabeth Hasselbeck saw her strop off The View forever in March, Rosie O'Donnell has hardly been on TV at all. There were rumours that Rosie wanted to host The Price Is Right, but CBS executives are said to have baulked when Rosie suggested that each show was prefaced by a 45-minute rant about how wanton consumerism is funding the war in Iraq. But now Rosie is back!

Almost, at least – and not a moment too soon. Before she starts devoting her life completely to filming squirrels and setting it to Edith Piaf soundtracks, it's been revealed that Rosie O'Donnell is in negotiations to get her own prime-time TV show on MSNBC, possibly scoring the 9pm slot that'd see her running against Larry King. That'd be perfect for Rosie O'Donnell, because – face it – given the choice of watching a woman raging about nothing for an hour or an old man asking Angelina Jolie the same question about the United Nations 700 times in a row, you'd pick Rosie. We all would. But let's not count our pudgy little chickens yet because, as one executive has said:

"It's far from a done deal."

We've heard there are a number of potential sticking points stopping Rosie O'Donnell's MSNBC show from happening. One is money, another is whether Rosie will go down as well with the highly educated, literate MSNBC audience as she did with the soft-brained viewers of The View who would start agreeing with a talking Mr T keyfob if it was given enough airtime.

And then there's the matter of counterpoint. Without someone to interject her ridiculous left-wing nonsense with even more ridiculous right-wing nonsense, there's a chance that Rosie O'Donnell could be left twisting in the wind somewhat. That's why we propose that MSNBC ships in Elisabeth Hasselbeck to team up with Rosie O'Donnell on the show. It'd be entertaining, plus it'd totally lay the foundations for that Rosie/Elisabeth remake of An Officer And A Gentleman that we've we waiting so patiently for.