That’s because Britney Spears’ ex-husband plans to release a fitness DVD.

You see, K-Fed does not want to rely on the $20,000 a month he gets from Britney Spears to help him bring up their two kids Jayden James, 21 months, and two-year-old Sean Preston, who he was given full custody of earlier this month.

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You name it – singing, acting, humanitarian work, naming her children, breathing – you can guarantee that whatever Geri Halliwell does it’ll annoy the shit out of you. And that’s fine for us to say. It’s not like we’re Geri Halliwell’s boyfriends or anything, we don’t have to like her.

Geri Halliwell’s boyfriend, though, is supposed to like her. So it’s a shame, as Dietpixie reports, that Geri annoys him just as much as the rest of us:

Apparently, Ginger Spice goes through a punishing two-hour daily workout every day to stay in shape. But this is starting to grate on new bloke Ivan Velez, who despite being a professional dancer just doesn’t understand why Geri Halliwell devotes so much time to it. A friend of the couple said: “Ivan is extremely fit but does not dedicate his life to body-toning the way Geri does. He complains that her house is like a boot camp. Geri has been involving him in stretching sessions after her rigorous routines and has made him go on long bike rides and early morning runs.”

Of course that’s annoying. He’s a man. It’s annoying enough when your girlfriend makes you take the binbag out, but it’d be nothing compared to being forced to ride a bike all over the place. And that, in turn, would be nothing compared to being forced to ride a bike all over the place by Geri Halliwell. Ugh.

Anyway, what’s all this about Geri ’staying in shape?’ Did you see that last Spice Girls video? She looks like 20 walnuts and a roving hernia wrapped in veiny clingfilm. We’re not even sure that is a shape, to be honest.

Read more:

Geri Halliwell’s fitness obsession really annoys her new man – Dietpixie

Hey, don’t throw that half-eaten Twinkie at us – those things hurt when they’re stale – it’s Jessica Simpson that’s to blame. She’s hurting fat people everywhere. Millions of them, in fact. At least, that’s what the company that is suing her over an unreleased fitness video is saying. The good news for hurt fat people is that you can stop blaming your slow metabolism, glandular problem, or your genetics and start blaming Jessica Simpson.

Try it. We like it.  

There hasn’t been much press about Jessica Simpson lately, at least not compared to the couple of years where she was married to and divorcing Nick Lachey. Those were tough times. For us. Do you have any idea how many times we made complete buffoons of ourselves pronouncing ‘Lachey’ wrong? Did you know it’s pronounced ‘La-shay’, not ‘Lack-ee’?? No, really. It’s true.  

And then in 2005, that whole era was topped off with the Dukes of Hazzard movie where she maybe was, or maybe wasn’t doing the horizontal honky tonk with co-star Johnny Knoxville. Either way, it’s three years later and stage hands are still mopping up pools of embarrassing waste of time off the set floor. But what some people may not know is that Jessica Simpson ramped up more than a hamster with ADD on speed to get into amazing shape for her role as Daisy Duke in which she wore shortie shorts of the same name. We prefer ‘cheek-leak’ shorts to ‘Daisy Dukes’, but whatev.  

The point is that Jessica Simpson made a fitness video around that time entailing the workout she used to get into such fine shape. Haven’t seen it, have you. That’s because no one saw it. It wasn’t released. For one reason or another, Jessica Simpson stopped the video from being released. Was it because it produced a flurry of inappropriate remarks from her father/manager Joe Simpson about his daughter's bounteous physical attributes that created a vacuum of ickiness that threatened the very existence of mankind? We may never know, but yeah, it's probably the icky Dad thing.

Regardless of the reason why Jessica Simpson didn't want the video released, the production company is none too happy about the situation, and is suing her for 10 million dollars. Speedfit owner Alex Astilean said:

"They are hurting millions of fat people in America.”

This may come as a tremendous shock, but not all Americans are fat, and the millions that are were just waiting with baited, shortness of breath for the release of Jessica Simpson's fitness video so they could get into those Daisy Duke shorts. Now they can't. Thanks, Jessica Simpson.  

What we're more concerned with at this point, though, is how to get those fat people that wear Daisy Dukes anyway to stop. Stop it. Stop it, right now.  

Read more: 

Jessica Simpson Being Sued For $10m Over Fitness Video – Showbizspy