Ladies and Gentlemen, there is one rule that is to be strictly adhered to by the breakfast news watching masses. Susanna Reid’s breasts are not to be criticised, for they have done nothing wrong.
Reid has recently been criticised for showing too much cleavage whilst presenting flagship morning show, BBC Breakfast. Many an hour has been spent by perverted men nationwide staring down at her chest instead of up at her face where important facts are delivered directly to camera in an ever so playful manor.
The Buxom Breakfast host is to take over as the show’s main presenter, following its move from London to the BBC’s Media City studios in Salford, which we’ve reliably been informed lies somewhere outside of the M25. Read More >>>
If you were regarded as the smartest man on the planet, with a mind that had single handedly advanced scientific knowledge in countless ways, what would you do with your free time?
Would you potter about your house theorising how the Universe came into being? Maybe you’d hold a dinner party with your peers, discussing what lies in store for the rest of us mere mortals? Or would you get freaky with a harem of naked beach babes in a California swingers club?
Well, if you’re Stephen Hawking, the answer is to roll yourself on down to the meat market and perform your own version of the Big Bang. Read More >>>
Jennifer Aniston has been threatening to show everyone her boobies for her entire career. Apart from some awful photoshopping and grotty long-lens shots, she’s managed to keep them under wraps and, in turn, extend her career by a decade or so.
Knowing that everyone would rather like to see her bosom, she’s often spoken about getting them out for everyone to see, whether its to promote a new film or promote some stinkin’ perfume.
And guess what she’s doing now? Clue: It’s ‘liberating’.
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We’ve seen Scarlett Johansson’s boobs and bum after some clever-dick managed to breach her internet security and show the world her wares, or rather, the way she gives the people she’s boning and lob-on.
And for the most part, jealous woman spat ‘Well, they weren’t THAT good’.
But there’s more to Scarlett than all that. She’s brave. She refused to wear make-up in We Bought a Zoo, whatever the fresh shit that is! However, when she’s at home, she ain’t no slob. You won’t find her eating Variety Packs straight from the box in her stained tracksuit pants watching Cheaters. No way.
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Boobs. Now we’ve got that out of the way, let us look at the rest of Scarlett Johansson’s tawdry existence on this wretched, awful speck of dust we call Earth as it revolves its tired way around this cold, unyielding solar system of ours.
Joy! Showbiz joy at that!
Anyway, now ScarJo has stopped dry-humping Sean Penn’s alleged leg, she be prowlin’ for another fancy mate. And remarkably, she’s chosen British musician Dan White, leaving us to assume that Dan White must be in a band with a very canny PR company working behind him or, indeed, Johansson has a penchant for derivative, tuneless indie schmindie.
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Hey! You probably don’t remember this, but a while ago, Scarlett Johansson got her emails hacked and some nudey photos of her ended up online and a couple of people got to see her bottom and busters.
It probably didn’t seem like much of a big deal to you and you certainly wouldn’t have kept looking at the photos over and over again and, it goes without saying, that there is NO WAY you hoped more explicit shots ended up online… but to ScarJo, she was rather upset.
She cried so hard that the FBI came to help her wipe her tears and BINGO BANGO some chap got arrested, potentially leaving us with intentional photo leaks, which just aren’t as romantic are they?
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Remember Tori Spelling? Her dad was a powerful TV man way back when (Love Boat and more) and magically, she ended up with a job on the original Beverley Hills 90210 and… uh… that’s about it.
Now we’ve proved she’s famous enough to talk about (ahem), would you like to see her breasts?
Ah. Ears pricked up now, huh? Well, over the jump, you’ll get to see (we’d better say ‘allegedly’ here) busters and, well, it’s not exactly in the manner which we’re all accustomed to. Get over the jump and see for yourself. Oh. And ‘salami’. Keep that in mind.
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Doctor Who has always been a quirkfest, with machines that don’t work properly, stupidly long scarves, baddies that look like bits of tinfoil and something preposterously called ‘a sonic screwdriver’.
Really, The Doctor is, of all the heroes, the most nauseatingly twee. He’ll be playing a bloody ukulele next. A sonic ukulele no doubt.
Anyway, thank frig the Americans have shown up to save this sorry franchise with some razzle and dazzle. That’s right! America will be getting their hands on Doctor Who and making the explosions bigger, the Doctor more handsome, throwing in a sex scene or two and making him have a proper spaceship as opposed to a stupid telephone box. WHO EVEN USES TELEPHONE BOXES ANYMORE? HAVEN’T THE WRITERS HEARD OF MOBILE PHONES?
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