Sooner or later, every human being on the planet will have starred in a reality TV show; and which one depends on their personality. Those that are hateful and clever will head for The Apprentice, while hateful and stupid people have got Big Brother.
But there's one reality TV show that's different, that calls for a very specific type of person. That show is Survivor, and the type of the person is the sort than can shoot a puppy with a bow and arrow. That's what we hear, anyway, since that's what Survivor: Thailand winner Brian Heidik apparently did on Tuesday.
Reality TV is scaring us a bit at the moment, and not just because it's given us Ruth Badger. Australian Big Brother housemates have caused a national debate about how acceptable it is to rub your genitals in a girl's face, while British Big Brother viewers are being subjected to 24-hour streaming of a middle-aged pornstar waxing the cock hair off a Tourette's sufferer. But none of this can compare to Brian Heidik, the former male adult film star who recently won a million dollars by coming first on Survivor: Thailand. He's been arrested for shooting a puppy with a bow and arrow.
Maybe there's something about winning Survivor that turns people nasty. Former Survivor winner Richard Hatch is in jail for tax evasion, that woman who won the British Survivor apparently had it off with a man in a tree behind her husband's back, and now Brian Heidik is getting arrested for animal cruelty charges after shooting a puppy named Edgar that strayed into his backyard with a bow an arrow.
Heidik's wife – who still lives with him even though the two of them are separated – called the police after seeing Brian shoot Edgar and say:
"I am tired of stupid dogs on my porch."
The wife then locked herself, her son and another random stray dog in their bathroom until Brian Heidik was taken into police custody, where he was later released on $6,000 bail, although he later claimed that he thought he was shooting a fox or a coyote. Douglas County Chief Deputy Stan Copeland told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution said of the incident:
"You can equate it to seeing a kid going across your property and going and beating the heck out of him."
And what about Edgar, the 12-week-old shepherd-hound mix that took the arrow? He's going to be OK! Hooray – we love stories about mindless animal cruelty with vaguely happy endings.
Read more:
'Survivor' Winner Goes To The Dogs – E! Online
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Eric Layne says
Heidik must be the biggest asswipe on the planet for that one. What’s next, stapling an infant’s mouth closed because it cried too loud?
Rev. Fred Phelps, Sr. says
What’s the big deal? I killed my neighbor’s German Shephard with my shotgun when it wandered into my yard a few years back. Did it in front of one of my kids, too.