Pop star Sting – a man for whom the terms 'endangered species' and 'self-promoting marketing ploy' are one and the same – has announced plans to release a book containing all his song lyrics.

Quite who told Sting this was a good idea is beyond us – possibly the same misguided publishing executive who commissioned Paula Yates' Guide To Parenting or Wayne Rooney: My Thoughts On Baudrillard. Whoever is responsible, though, it looks like the ill-advised volume is going ahead and will be unnecessarily weighing down bookstore shelves before the end of the year.

Lyrics By Sting (can't you just see the front cover now – some black and white photo of the man himself, no doubt trying to look profound as he convinces himself that writing three half-hummable tunes in the early eighties makes him a god among mere mortals) will apparently contain:

 … all the words the 55-year-old has penned, from The Police hits including Message In A Bottle to solo tracks such as An Englishman In New York. Announcing his lyric book plans, Sting, real name Gordon Sumner, says, "Over time, the meaning of a song can continue to reveal itself."

hecklerspray has already started taking bets on which celebrity mate the Stingster will drag in to write a sickeningly fawning introduction.

Odds stand for 33/1 for Bono ("I remember the first time I met Gordon, and realised that here was a man as attuned to Mother Gaia as myself. I cried pure Earthy tears for a fortnight"), 25/1 for Bob Geldof ("Every starving child in the world should have the word 'Sting' branded across their foreheads as a mark of sheer fucking respect") or 45/1 for Jordan ("I still haven't shagged Sting yet, but should my husband Peter pop his clogs, my fame-targeting mimsy will be as greased-up and ready as a traction engine").

Buyers will also be able to claim a discount if they mention to the bookseller that they "just love running a bubble bath and putting on Fields Of Gold."

Probably.

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Sting Lyric Book On The Way - Contactmusic