Steve-O might be stupid enough to staple his balls to his thigh night after night for fun and profit, but it turns out he’s not that stupid.
By which we mean that Steve-O is smart enough to plead guilty to cocaine possession after he filmed himself smashing up his neighbour’s house on drugs and then blogged extensively about his battle to the same drugs.
As a result of his guilty plea, it’s been announced that Steve-O’s only punishment for his March drug bust will be the rehab stint that he’s already partially through. And now that he’s clean, Steve-O knows that next time he staples his nuts to his leg it’ll be out of genuine mental dysfunction or self-loathing rather than drug addiction. Three cheers!
You know, we’re still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that Steve-O, the Jackass star famous for putting leeches on his eyeball, swimming in sewage and ramming fireworks up his bum, may have issues with drugs. Apparently the signs were there, but you have to admit he kept them well-hidden.
However, any problems that Steve-O may have had with drugs are firmly in the past now. And Steve-O isn’t one of those pussies who run away to rehab at the first sign of trouble – no, Steve-O decided to kick drugs by appearing in public in an increasingly inebriated state, then getting arrested for trashing his neighbour’s apartment while wankered on drugs with shitloads of cocaine on him, then getting admitted into a mental hospital and then going to rehab. That’s the man’s way.
And it’s Steve-O’s dedication to trying to kick his drug habit that’s spared him from serious punishment in court. E! Online reports:
To hear him tell it, Steve-O‘s days of jackassery are behind him and he’s ready for a clean—and sober—slate. The thrill-seeking former MTV star entered a guilty plea today in Los Angeles to a cocaine-possession charge, announcing to the court that he “found God” and has been sober for 85 days. Attorney Barry Gerald Sands tells E! News that because of his client’s commitment and time in rehab, judgment was deferred upon successful completion of his treatment program.
What? Steve-O has found God? What was God doing in rehab? That’s not very encouraging.
But it is timely – tying your penis to a firework and deliberately giving your own mouth papercuts probably isn’t as much fun when you’re not spazzed off your munch on drugs, so it’s just as well that Steve-O has found religion. At worst he’ll be a super christian ambassador for troubled youngsters, and at best Jackass 3 is going to have a wicked awesome crucifixion stunt in it.
That’s assuming that Steve-O joins the clergy, of course – the world is full of suitable positions for mentally-ill drug addicts who polevault into human shit for a living. Ah, no, wait – he’s already done Celebrity Love Island, hasn’t he? Clergy it is, then.