Football: technically a funny old game. Made more so with ex-England football team manager Steve McClaren, in his new role at Dutch side FC Twente.
The man with a head that is home to a hair island and a face that wears a frighteningly creepy smile at all times has been spotted in the wild at his new job in the Netherlands, attempting to talk to the press.
Now, far be it from us to mock the man, but, well – we had enough ammo to go on before this, and now he’s just gone and set us up for life. He’ll never have to behave like a twit again, he’ll never have to do an awful job as England manager then blame it on everyone/thing else and he’ll never have to talk utter, utter tripe ever again.
Because this clip says everything about Steve McClaren you would ever want it to. The man is clearly deranged – there cannot be any other explanation for his decision to adopt such a stunning ‘Dutch’ accent. He actually sounds like your dad on holiday, trying to talk to a waiter who can only manage broken English.
Yet this is a man who has – presumably – had endless training on how to conduct himself in public, how to speak and how to behave. Obviously the training fell on deaf ears.
Ol’ Steve also seems oblivious to the fact that most Dutch people have a far more refined English vocabulary than most English people. Either that, or he thinks the woman interviewing him had just arrived from special school. Either way, he’s not helping himself.
Watch for yourselves:
Honestly. “ME. COME TO HOLLAND. VERY GOOD SIDE. CHAMPION AND IS LEAGUE. ARSE. NAL. LIVERPOOL. WE PLAY. MAYBE. WE SEE!”
He’s a loss to the English game, that’s for sure.
Glyn says
What a massive cod piece.
Do you reckon he’d try the same mirroring techniques if he went to a jamaican team?
Interviewer – “So, Mr Mclaren, what will you bring to Jamaican Football?”
Mclaren – “I bring you da cup mon! jah i and i give you every ting ya be needin mon.”
…..
at the risk of crossing into darker humor (with no intended offence), if he went to a more eastern team – would he have squinted?
Joke Police says
This is one of the most painful things I have ever seen. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all day. Oh well, it stops me thinking about Dane Cook and Count Chocula. Been thinking about that sh*t for years.
“How you say – underdog?” – oh the horror…
gir says
I love the tactic of making stereotypical remarks and then taking on the “No Offense” coda. It really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
“Hey, all you niggers and homos need to go back to Africa and get all AIDSed up and die. No offense.”
dave says
Cease your whining you over-sensitive liberal, it’s not ‘stereotyping’ to admit that Chinese people have epicanthic folds and jokily suggest that mclaren might even go as far as to imitate them. God, people like you make me cringe almost as much as mclaren. Go and play thought police elsewhere, you stink.
Glyn says
hahahaha i’m still laughing at this retard.
Gir? as in the retard edition of Sir?
shouldn’t you be somewhere stuffing you head into a pizza box?
Thought Police says
Saying that Asians are squinty is bad. If you were a high-profile celeb and not an anonymous numpty commenting on a website, then you’d be massively villified. And anyone who uses liberal as an insult officially loses. Instantly.
gir says
Do you know what “stereotypical” means, dave? Seriously, do you? Go look it up. Go on, I’ll wait.
I’d have my head stuffed into something if I thought you were at all funny, Glyn. You aren’t.