We should be thanking Stephanie Pratt. In these troubled times, it’s always nice to have a bit of consistency.
And that’s what she’s provided. Forget about financial ruin or war or ecological destruction – so long as, somewhere in the world, someone from The Hills is acting like an overprivileged nob, then we know that everything is exactly as it should be. And if that means that Stephanie Pratt has to get arrested on suspicion of DUI, then that’s what has to happen.
Honestly, Stephanie Pratt deserves a medal. Or a jail sentence. Probably just the jail sentence, actually. Medals are quite expensive.
We want you to reflect for a moment on what it must mean to be Stephanie Pratt. It can’t be especially nice, can it? You brother is Spencer Pratt, one of the most celebrated arseholes of our time. Everywhere you go, you’re constantly being compared to Spencer Pratt – people say that you aren’t as overwhelmingly obnoxious as him, or that you’re not as much of a doltist fantasist, or that your wife isn’t as universally offensive, or that you’re less able to grow a beard that makes your face look as if it’s slowly being consumed by the Ebola virus.
It must be tough. So if you were Stephanie Pratt, then the time would have to come where you’d need to make a stand and say “Hey! I AM as much of a slavering turd as my brother! I DO have the same repulsive sense of entitlement despite my obvious lack of marketable skills!” And, early on Sunday morning, that’s apparently what Stephanie Pratt did.
She didn’t literally say those words, you understand – she was possibly quite drunk and it’s difficult to talk and drive a car at the same time when you’ve had a few drinks – but she ended up getting arrested on suspicion of DUI anyway. MTV reports:
Police said Pratt, 23, was arrested at around 3:45 a.m. outside a nightclub in Los Angeles and taken into custody, with bail set at $5,000, according to Sergeant Mark Cohan of the Los Angeles Police Department. Before her arrest, Pratt was reportedly out with some fellow “Hills” stars at Empire, celebrating Holly Montag’s 26th birthday.
This isn’t Stephanie Pratt’s first brush with the law – in 2006 she was arrested in Hawaii for second-degree theft and drug violations. This could obviously pose a problem for her if this arrest overlaps with her probation for that arrest, but that’s something to deal with in the future.
It wouldn’t be the end of the world if Stephanie Pratt was given a short jail sentence for this arrest, though – especially if The Hills gained permission to keep filming her in jail. Because, if nothing else, a version of The Hills where the characters are miserable, frightened and anally violated against their will on a regular basis would be a nice way to reflect what it feels like to actually watch The Hills these days.
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Sunny says
Oh no, “anally violated”; those two words will haunt me all day – likely into the night.