Unsurprisingly, much of the new year press was?crammed with new names to look out for during the next twelve months. Some of these journalists, we’re pretty sure, were just making names up for a joke.
Well, the joke is on you, imaginary showbusiness journalist with your shiny hair, because guess what? We’re still obsessed with old fashioned celebrities like Joe McElderry and Lady GaGa.
So much so, that below is a list of people from the olden days who it might still be worth keeping a beady eye on in 2010…
Mariah Carey
2009 was the year when Mariah Carey chose to ugly herself up for a role in the popular film, Precious. By all accounts, her putrid new look seems to have gone down rather well with the critics, and the various members of the public who decided that a movie about a fat girl having her father’s children would make for uplifting Friday evening viewing. Should Carey’s?make-up-free success continue, then we fully expect to find her gigging in 2010 wearing a gravy-stained sweatshirt, with her?unwashed hair matted?to her blotchy?face.
Tom Cruise
He’s been a little bit quiet?of late, that Tom Cruise. But if we have learned anything about the Hollywood crowd-puller over the years, it’s that he never stays quiet for too long.??He usually comes out with something cool/weird – like dancing on live television like he’s riding a pretend motorbike, or screaming hysterically because he just had sex backstage. Perhaps he’s busily crafting a Scientology spaceship, so that he can hover over the planet telling everyone?about scary aliens?through a loud speaker? Or he might just be making a new film. Time will tell on that one. Time will tell.
Lindsay Lohan
She’s had quite a couple of years and, on current form, Lindsay Lohan always demands that you keep a close eye on what she’s up to. Of late, she’s been reportedly lesbianing herself out to other women, as well as heaving out her big bosoms and letting men with cameras take photographs of them. In 2010, we expect more shapeshifting from the former child star, which should either find her demonstrating some unforeseen acting chops in a smoky black and white indie flick, or explaining exactly how she likes her intercourse to a nervous member of the public forced to hold a digital camera throughout their druggie love making.
Michael Jackson
As everyone knows, Michael Jackson died last year. But in celebrity world, death is just an inconvenience, not a career-killer. Tupac, for example, enjoyed some of his most successful years once he’d departed from this mortal coil, and the same can be said of Heath Ledger, James Dean and probably Hendrix. Hence, we fully expect at least two more albums?in 2010, and probably a really nice film.
Simon Cowell
The Christmas Number One furore will have cut Cowell deep, so this year will surely find the dour TV show judge attempting to reinvigorate his cluster of television programmes to ensure that people don’t fall out of love with him. 2009 saw the X Factor glam-up the audition process, but with no real success, so 2010 should find the auditions going the other way, and taking place in a damp old World War Two?bunker, with the auditionees either freed after their performances and instructed to head straight to?Boot Camp, or thumped in the stomach and kicked to the ground by a hysterical Dannii Minogue, who really will?do anything just to keep her contract.
This was a guest blog by Josh Burt who do Interestment.
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The Scumbag says
I for one will be watching the progress of Michael Jackson.
Hal R. Hosfeld says
Will Spike Lee be releasing any movies about evil whitey this year?