Thank God for the entertainment industry. They keep making new formats to peddle old crap to us. The CD saw everyone buying albums they already owned on a perfectly good format and now, we’ve been given the dubious treat of 3D movies, so we can sit through things we’ve seen a million times already. BUT IN 3D!
And so, with crashing certainty, George Lucas looks like he’s going to be rereleasing the Star Wars back catalogue in new 3D conversions, kicking off in 2012. No word on whether he’s going to give Howard the Duck the same reverential treatment.
Of course, these 3D versions have been muttered about for ages, but it seems that Lucas is happy enough to go ahead with the project now that there will be enough screens available to make the reissues a sizable event.
The bad news in all this is that we’ll be getting the films in storyline order, which means that we’ll be expected to pay money to watch hideous camp Rastafarian newt, Jar Jar Binks in three disgusting dimensions in Episode I, The Phantom Menace.
Episode I will be out during early 2012 with each subsequent film getting released in order at the same time in consecutive years.
Of course, we can blame Avatar for all this. It’s all Avatar’s fault. James Cameron. Blame him. The git.
Hollywood Reporter reckon Lucasfilm are looking to use higher-end conversion houses to work on the franchise and, by the time they’re completed, theatres should have enough 3D screens to meet demand.
Ever the merchandiser, Lucas will no doubt be eyeing-up the home market as well, hoping to release the 3D versions of Star Wars to homes which, if things go according to George Lucas’ mind, will have enough 3D television sets to make him lots and lots of money indeed.
In the meantime, there’ll be a shit load of Blu-Ray releases which will no doubt be ignored for the most part and the stalling of a proposed TV show. As yet, there’s no rumours of George Lucas looking to make a decent film again, preferring to rest on his intergalactic laurels and twiddle his Wookie-esque beard while reading disparaging comments from Star Wars fanboys on various message-boards under the pseudonym Tattooweiner.
Honestly. Have a look for yourself. That’s the name he uses on all the boards.
Tom J says
Great, another slew of 2D movies with lacklustre post-production 3D effects. When are the cinema-going public going to realise that films only look good in 3D if they are physically filmed in 3D? It’s a principle that’s hundreds of years old and it is entirely reliant on two images per frame – one for the left eye and one for the right – taken at the same time from two different lenses spaced to mimic the spacing of the eyes. Post-production 3D cannot replicate this effect, now or ever, as some of the required visual information literally doesn’t exist in the single-lens master. The result of trying is a cheap, uninspiring effect that adds nothing to the movie but doubles the ticket price. Of course, this is the whole point. Lucas must be wetting himself in anticipation, he gets to churn out the same old movies for the umpteenth time but this time round he gets to hike the prices to a completely unprecedented level.
JoeMomma says
As much as I like Star Wars. It really seems like George Lucas is a one note guy. He had one good idea and has milked it forever. I’m not taking away anything from the idea, it was great. Just, enough already. I’m going to be 80 and they’ll still be churning out rehashes of Star Wars.