Should you be unlucky enough to live for the next 300 years, aside from the agony of reanimation, the clawing sense of disenfranchisement with our new ape leaders and, of course, the horrible realisation that you are a disappointment regardless of the time you live in, you might be on the end of a withering aside from Simon Cowell.
That’s right. The music molester has stated his desire to live forever and ever so he can belittle people long into our dark future.
Basically, he wants to have his body frozen after his death as “an insurance policy”, where in the distant future, he can hold a talent contest between cannibalistic apes to see which one can sing the best, while reintroducing the phrase ‘this means everything to me’ and getting some monkeys to cry about being orphaned by science, and that this Whitney Houston song got them through genetic experiments.
Cowell first showed interest in having his body preserved in liquid nitrogen back in 2009. Presumably, he got the fear of death after seeing Paula Abdul up close.
And he’s still at it, wanting to outlive us all.
In an interview with GQ, Cowell insists that he would like to be frozen, in the hope scientists can find a way to bring him back to life like they’ve done on science documentary, Futurama.
He says:
“It’s an insurance policy. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But if it does work, I’ll be happy. If it’s possible – and I think it will be – why not have a second crack? Does that sound crazy?
He then added:
“I think it’s a good idea. I have a feeling that if I don’t do it, I could regret it in 300 years.”
No, if you don’t do it, you’ll be dead. Berk.
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d says
Hopefully when he comes back to life they will have burned those awful casual pants he wears and they’ll give him something up-to-date to wear. God, those things are awful.
Trinketz says
He has the conscience of a walking corpse anyway.
What’s the diff if he becomes an official zombie?