Holy Oedipus complex Batman! Look who is claiming not to be having sexy thoughts about their own mother, despite talking about little else for the whole of this month.
Let’s be clear, sexy thoughts about one’s rellies is about as natural as Coke Zero. Or the cheese in a Big Mac, if you will.
So why oh why this Shia LaBeouf bloke took to telling the world about the unsettling things going on in his brain is any one’s guess.
Shia the Beef, of Transformers fame, is reneging on a whole month’s worth of interviews, in which he claims that he spent lonely nights thinking sexy thoughts about his mother. After this month of nightmarish talks with an array of nondescript magazines and Playboy (inexplicably), the 23-year-old says that he was only joking about wanting to get his rocks off with mummy Beef.
He was up until recently one of the least offensive celebrities on the scene. He was an admitted alcoholic with what looked like a personal grooming problem, sure. But don’t tell me that on the Parasite Hilton scale of annoying, he was anything like as much of a pain in the bum as some of his peers.
The general consensus, after being battered to death over the head with quotes about said subject, was that Shia and mummy Beef were quite possibly doing the nasty and that Shia was becoming a leeetle bit hard to take.
This nonsense would not even have been an issue if Shia had just gone to see a damn therapist and gone over his peculiar and disturbing childhood, rather than grabbing any interviewer with a pen and asking them to recount his tales to the masses.
Mate, we know that talking to an interviewer is cheaper than shelling out on therapy, but it would be money well spent. We can even pony up some loose change for you, if you promise to get some bloody help.
The actor recently caused controversy after telling Playboy his mother is the ?sexiest woman? he knows. ?Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother,? he said. But Shia insists his comments were tongue-in-cheek ? and he was just trying to make his dear old mom smile. ?I'm not having sex with my mother. It's ridiculous,? he tells US TV show Extra. ?I don't have any problems appearing crazy to make my mother smile, but she is the most beautiful woman on this planet and I love her. She's fly as hell. I stand by that. My mom?s awesome.?
This was a guest blog by the magnificent Amy Grindhouse. You really must read her blog. It is exceptional.
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dbl says
What in the world does this column even say?
Julias says
Yeah, what’s the point? SLBeef is just as annoying as the rest of them. So what if he’s screwing his mother? She’s hot. Or so I hear.
Derekp says
I think i’ve seen this somewhere before
Stabby McGee says
Boo! My first ever denied comment! You know it was funny, too!
AJ Simkatu says
His mom is good in the sack too.
Celebrity Smile says
He said he was trying to make his mum smile. Still not a good thing to say.
mrscampbell654 says
i dont think theres anything wrong with a mamas boy if he treats his mom right chances are he will treat you right too.