You geeks are more than aware that Sherlock Holmes fell to his death in the closer of series two of the stupid BBC adaptation that stars Martin Freeman playing Tim From The Office Again and Benedict Cumberbatch as quirky Sherlock Doctor Who Holmes. And there’s going to be a third series.
Right?
And of course, the internet is filled with theories about what happens, what will unfold and all that junk. Really, you pondering bozos should’ve just come to us because we have all the answers AND we’re going to tell you all about it. Mainly because people don’t care about spoilers anymore do they? They’re more than willing to blurt out plots to shows and films on Twitter and Facebook, so why shouldn’t we join in?
So where are we? Well, Sherlock got famous and Moriarty allows himself to be captured and put on trial. After a ‘not guilty’, he blackmails Sherlock and taunts him with a “final problem” to solve.
How edgy and brilliant, eh? Then, Sherlock and Moriarty plunge to their deaths and every single nerd on the planet moistened with excitement and thrill. The dry-cleaning bills must have been astronomical.
Either way, Holmes faked his death and that’s that. See, the show will detail how Watson becomes the go-to dude for crime (like when Lewis got his own series after Morse died), but alas, an elderly deformed book collector ends up transforming himself into Sherlock Holmes! EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD!
See, Holmes flung Professor Moriarty to his death and climbed up the cliff out of view, so that everyone would think he’d snuffed it too. Alas, some dude called Moran threw rocks at Holmes’ head while he was trying to climb up the waterfall and he ends up running for his life so hard that he ends up travelling Tibet for years.
Like a filthy student.
Colonel Moran, shoots a dummy of Holmes in his room at Baker Street and gets apprehended and it all goes horribly wrong for him. Very nice.
And you know how we found all this out?
By reading the bloody books, you nitwits. Seriously. You’ll read Harry Potter, but not Sherlock Holmes. You’re scum, that’s what you are.
Anyway, no point watching the third series of Sherlock Holmes now is there?
Owlie says
Waterfall? Cliff? Moran?
You clearly didn’t even bother to watch the episode.
Col. Sebastian Moran says
Thanks for the heads-up, suckers!
cumberbatchforlife says
the episodes are always different from the books, noobs.
you have not sat and watched the episode as
1) you’d of been in tears
2) your love for this show would have grown
3) you’d of realised none of that made sense, or happened
basically; his friend molly or whatever works with the dead, and she managed to save him by doing..stuff, im not going to ruin it..
sometimes I wonder how I am such a legend.
Boo to the yaaaaah.
Col. Sebastian Moran says
“noobs”, “you’d of”, random semi-colon, ellipses missing their third dot, entire comment missing the obvious tone of the post.
What do you think Sherlock could deduce about you from that little lot?
Jenny says
Certainly it’s true about what happened but “that’s according to the books” and “the series where Sherlock is interpreted by Jeremy Brett”. And, this Sherlock doesn’t disguise himself so the “hypothesis” doesn’t qualify for the possible sequel of the BBC series.
Jenny says
Sorry I just remembered that he actually disguised as security officer in the Art Museum.
Tony John Allibone says
The Apparent Death Of Sherlock Holmes
Moriarty intended to use a double of Sherlock; a surgically altered brainwashed duplicate who believed they were the real Sherlock Holmes, to discredit the original. The little girl screamed when she saw Sherlock because the look-alike was her kidnapper. All the information needed to enable the plan to succeed was provided by Mycroft Holmes. The fake Sherlock received the message to meet Moriarty on the roof of the hospital along with the real one. Being brainwashed, he believed the message was for him. The real Sherlock saw his double arrive, hid, and watched the events unfold. The double, being mentally unstable, leaped to his death. The main clue which most people missed is in this sequence: Sherlock is seen to cry, something the real Holmes would not do. As to the question of how Sherlock faked his own death; he never intended to. He believed he would die at the hands of Moriarty and was mentally prepared for it. Sherlock is later driven to and from the churchyard by one of the few people who know Sherlock is still alive; his brother, Mycroft.
Tony John Allibone
Abbi says
If you are going to call people ‘scum’ over something as insignificant as an episode of television, at least make sure to watch the episode.
LeFarts says
Tony i have read your post, i am convinced you are an immortal…..
How did i come to this conclusion you may ask, well its quite simple really, YOU HAVE NO LIFE, therefore how do you kill that which has no life, the Grim Reaper himself shrugged his shoulders when i asked him about you.
Keep it up Tony, once you gain a life you will eventually die, and we need you to continue to tell the people of the future about us…….well, mainly about our pathetic TV shows which have no consequence to the living currently here on earth………..But that doesnt make you less important to the future people of this Planet………
LeFarts says
Your comments suck………..
If i was asked to judge your comments whilst smoking a joint, drinking an aged scotch and receiving a deepthroat blowjob from Kate Beckinsale ( keep in mind this is my own personal version of bliss), i would vote your comments as meager at best……..
But since im smoking a cigarette, drinking beer from a can and having to satisfy myself, your comment is getting Fucking Pathetic rating….
LeFarts says
Hmmm………Wow………..your really into this crappy little show aint ya.
When you eventually have sex with a girl, you will grow out of this little fad.
I dont need to be reminded of your real age either, being 28 and living at home with your parents is completely acceptable nowdays Owlie, nothing to be ashamed of at all. And your right, watching Doctor Who,Star Trek and Sherlock Holmes for all those years paid off, just think about all that money you saved by not having to spend it on, Eeucch……….GIRLS.
Col. Sebastian Moran says
I like to smell my own farts, i do it all the time. Being smug is part of my manly essence, i also hold a lot of conversations with myself because my innerself is so much smarter than you could imagine.
I tried smelling other peoples farts a few times, but it wasnt very satisfying, sure i got more of the taste sensation i crave, but that was only because i could get my face right into the other guys asshole, put my lips around it and suck in when he farted, but it just wasnt the same my farts. Their farts had more of an old pork and curried goat taste with a tinge of aged lamb phlemb, but not the regular phlemb, this one had more bile in it, this gave it a little bit of a bite, and i didnt like that.
Anyway, your all a bunch of idiots, dont judge me, cus i’m keeping it real pussies !!!
Jenny says
Sorry i just remembered that he actually went down on the butler in the library, after THAT he disguised himself as a security officer in the art museum, which is where he hooked up with Ron Jeremy for the Anal scene and the money shot.
Once again Soo-rrrr-yyyyy
adler says
Who writes these things, Barry Kripke?
adler says
(Last comment in reference to the articles, not the comments.)
… and then you have the nerve to allow only moderated comments?
LeFarts says
FYI, the moderator is a goat hearder in Uzbekistan, he only gets internet service every 2 months or so.
But have no fear when he checks out the comment that were left he will sort them out.
Your comments will no doubt be deleted out of sheer BOREDOM !!
Owlie says
Hey FuckFace, i have already had sex, maybee not with a girl, but im ok with that, i look at it as practicing.
And im not 28 either dipshit I’m 27 1/2, so shut the fuck up you dont know what the fuck your talking about !!
Col. Sebastian Moran says
I didnt write that, although it was spot on, are you bastards hacking into my fucking web history.
Twats !
Jenny says
Im so Sorry guys, before that last scene he was actually recruited into the Greek navy, his duties were to stay primed ready for the seamen, i think his actual title was Junior Peg Boy, which basically meant he sat on a wooden peg all day, but it kept him loosened up for the sailor’s, after that he did the Ron Jeremy bit.
Once again, im So Soo-rrr-yyyyy.
Jenny says
Im Sorry, i think i forgot to say im Sorry, well im Sorry about that, hope you can forgive me.
So Sorry Again, Soo-rr-yyyy.
butts galore says
Wow these comments suck and I want to apologise on behalf of Sherlock fans. Clearly, only the weirdos even we sigh at found this article.
And I’m sorry to say that no matter how many times we tell people that you can’t spoil a 100+ year story they will never get away from their computers and away from their printed out pictures of Benedict Cumberbatch’s face and they will never read the novels.
butts galore says
Wow congrats. You sure told them off and I’m so sure that they care about what you have written.
Tony John Allibone says
Having just seen ‘Skyfall’ , I would like to see what people think of my ideas for the next Bond film.
The casting of Ralph Fiennes as the new ‘M’ is significant. Having played John Steed in the underrated ‘Avengers’ , it is in the last few years that this actor has almost cornered the market in screen villains; Voldemort, and Hades being the most famous.
My idea for the next Bond adventure is this: ‘M’ , after the pre-credits sequence, will brief Bond on his new mission. This mission will turn out to be a complete fabrication, designed to test Bonds loyalty to Her Majesty’s Secret Service and end with Bond confronting none other than Ernst Stavro Blofeld; or as we now know him, ‘M’.
Tony John Allibone says
Tony John Allibone
As a life-long Doctor Who fan, I thought I would post my idea of who could be the next Doctor when Matt Smith regenerates.
Having already broken the rule of an actor not being considered for the title role if he has previously appeared in the series, (with the casting of Colin Baker), I think Hugh Bonneville would make an excellent Doctor.