I hope you?guys saved your receipts, because you’re all going to need to return whatever bullshit gifts you bought for people because a true Christmas miracle is upon us! The suicide rates will NOT be going up this holiday season, because the best Christmas?film since “The Muppet Christmas Carol” is upon us! That’s right, a Mama June and Sugar Bear sex tape might be on the way!
Oh, I’m sorry, did I say that the suicide rates would not be going up this holiday season? I meant they will, they 100% will, because if this thing happens people won’t be able to resist watching it, and once you watch Mama June all nekkid and getting her groooove on, you can never unsee that shit.
According to numerous sources, respected porn company, Vivid, offered Mama June and Sugar Bear $1 million for their sex tape. Yeah. YEAH. What the fuck, right?! Children are like?starving all over the world and there are like blind dogs who need rectal surgery and every road in my town is covered in pot holes, and here is Vivid?Entertainment is offering up a million bucks?for a tape of this woman naked and humping on real-life Yogi Bear:
That’s right, I called him Yogi Bear. I haven’t forgotten your crimes, Sugar Bear!
Apparently Vivid is pursuing this sex tape hardcore, but Mama June turned it down and said this hilarious gem:
I have more respect for myself and my kids and my family.
Yep, the woman who has dated two child molesters, including one who molested her own daughter, then started hooking back up with him after he got out of jail and allowing him around her children again has too much respect for her kids and family to release a sex tape.
The woman thinks ketchup, melted butter, and spaghetti noodles is a proper meal, got married in a camo dress, and can barely string together a coherent sentence thinks she’s too good for a sex tape.
Bitch, you are NOT better than Farrah Abraham, so get off that high horse and give the people what they want: A naked video of you so they can feel better about themselves.
sam says
A sex tape? Why?…….why?………why?
WTF says
THAT would have been the GREATEST CHRISTMAS GAG GIFT EVER!