This season of The Apprentice has been a bit, you know, nothingy, hasn't it. Maybe, just maybe, the thrill of seeing a furious cockney Mrs Tiggywinkle lookalike shouting at idiots for not even being able to sell bits of cheese has finally gone.
Not that The Apprentice has been completely useless this year, mind you, and that's mainly down to Katie Hopkins – the unusually old-looking 31-year-old contestant whose DNA appears to be half evil James Bond villain and half camel. From sleeping around with other Apprentice contestants to wishing violent death on other Apprentice contestants to deciding at the last minute that, no, she didn't want to be the Apprentice actually, Katie Hopkins has been a non-stop source of scary fun. So scary, in fact, that her current employers in real life have just decided to sack her.
This hasn't been a good year for The Apprentice all-round, we'd say. Over in America Donald Trump was too busy shouting at lesbians to realise that making your Apprentices live in tents was an idea bad enough to get the show cancelled, while in the UK The Apprentice slowed down to a tedious crawl of "here's some bladdy coffee/ cheese/ confectionery/ paintings/ trampolines with legs that look like penises" selling tasks that we've all seen before.
It wasn't just the tasks that let The Apprentice down, though – the standard of Apprentice contestants this year was below par, too; so much so that at times they all seemed to meld into one hateful, grasping blob of tiresome middle-management speak. OK, well maybe not all of them. The two obvious stand-outs this year were Tre Azam – a man whose occasional spark of creativity was let down by his compulsive urge to scream his ideas to his team-mates in the manner of the Incredible Hulk being attacked by a swarm of bees – and Katie Hopkins.
Katie Hopkins – while obviously no Ruth Badger – might just go down as one of the most preposterous Apprentice contestants in history. Coming to prominence after it was revealed that she was screwing the upper-class ninny who thought you could cook food with a candle, Katie then went on to wish death on everyone else on the show, sabotage her own tasks just to get other people sacked, drop out of The Apprentice immediately after she was offered a place in the final (perhaps because the thought of living in Brentwood rightfully gave her the chills) and – perhaps worst of all – get pictured in all the newspapers doing a man in a field. But, hey, it didn't matter how Katie Hopkins came across on TV because at least she still had her £90,000-a-year job at the Met Office to go back to, right?
Well, no, actually. It's been reported that Katie Hopkins has now been fired from her Met Office job, presumably after her bosses realised that one day they'd wake up to see Katie standing over them brandishing a knife and batting her eyelashes like an out-of-control animatronic Princess Diana. The Telegraph reports:
Ms Hopkins' spokesman told the Daily Mirror that she was fired yesterday from her £90,000 job due to revelations made in the media about the 31-year-old's private life. "Recently the Met Office has become uncomfortable with the volume of media coverage she was attracting and in particular the many articles about her private life, which also happened to reference her place of work," the spokesman said. "She intends to appeal."
Rest assured that someone as talented as Katie Hopkins won't stay unemployed for long, though – after seeing her on The Apprentice we're positive that soon enough she'll find work as a child catcher or something.
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