Do you know what the following phrases add up to? ?Ruthless?, ?sci-fi?, ?alien?, ?seductress?, ?voracious sexuality?, ?Scarlett bloody Johansson?? They add up to absolute GOLD.
Did you like ?Species?? Of course you did. It had the same 24-carat premise, had loads of quality character-actors and ?Sir? Ben Kingsley in it, had an alien designed by H.R.(Alien)Giger, and Micheal Madsen blew everything up with a shotgun, smoked some cigarettes and looked cool. And there was a fit woman taking her shirt off a lot.
Did you like ?Lightforce?? Of course you didn't. No-one?s ever seen it, but it had Jean-Luc Picard in it, was written by the co-creator of the ?Alien? franchise and featured Mathilda ?Very Fit? May without a stitch on for about an hour. It was awesome ? the space shuttle was in it and everything.
Producers FilmNation have upped the anti by casting Scarlett Johansonn ? feasibly the world's ?fittest? and indeed ?tidiest? woman alive ? in new film ?Under the Skin? in the role of:
?an alien on earth, disguised as the perfect aesthetic form of a mesmerizing woman. She scours remote highways and desolate scenery looking to use her greatest weapon to snare human prey – her voracious sexuality?
Utterly brilliant. You wouldn't pay to see it in the cinema, but you'd definitely Sky Box Office it.
But wait!
It's being produced with the help of Film4, the UK Film Council and Scottish Screen. This is starting to sound a bit ?art-house?.
It gets worse. According to the producers, the central character in this potentially awesome b-movie tits-and-gore fest is:
?drawn to and changed by the complexity of life on earth. With this new found humanity and weakening alien resolve, she finds herself on a collision course with her own kind. Taking her point of view throughout, the film presents a unique look at our world through alien eyes?
Which actually sounds rubbish in a ?Man Who Fell To Earth? sort of way. Scarlett Johansson may not even take her shirt off. And we've seen enough of ?those? films.
Oh well. As you were.
mark says
Surely you mean “Lifeforce”?
jo says
geeks like u need to get a girlfriend & a life instead of panting at cinema flesh. saddo
zed says
It’s from the Michael Faber book of the same name. A great read.
LitGeek says
“up the anti” Really? Really?